My husband died very suddenly 3 1/2 months ago. We were a s

bubbyjane's picture

My husband died very suddenly 3 1/2 months ago. We were a second marriage, married 5 very short years. I am devastated, heartbroken. We lived our life as if we'd have the next 50 years together. We were soul mates, best friends. I barely function. I work part time and manage to do that, but not much else. I just cannot imagine life without him. I'm not sleeping well and cry a lot.

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bubbyjane's picture
Nov 3, 2013

The pain is so raw. I cry myself to sleep every night. He should be next to me with his head on his pillow, and he's not. I don't really want to talk to anyone. Friends and family are very supportive, but sometimes I just want to be left alone. I manage to work and that's about it. I feel like that day is on instant replay in my brain. Just very hard to go on. What's to go on for? We were soul mates, no one could compare….and I HATE when people say…oh… day you'll meet someone…..that is bs…..i am done……I was divorced once (which I initiated) and now widowed…….I am done!!!

Nov 10, 2013

@DianaW It is very hard to imagine anything that resembles joy in our lives again after our husbands pass. It has been over 2 years for me, I am 56 years old and I still do not have any thoughts of wanting another man in my life. But I know it could happen if it is meant to happen. Time will ease the rawness of your grief, I can promise you that. I also can promise you that even if your friends had not moved into new relationships you would still feel that your experience was/is different from theirs. Because it is. I wrote a poem last year in a moment of frustration with people claiming to understand, that they had been there, done that sort of thing. The last part goes like this
If I am unique so is my grief.
Do not tell me how to grieve
Do not pretend to know what is in my heart
My love was mine alone
And now
My grief is my own.
Try to be gentle with yourself. It wont always hurt as much as it does today.

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Nov 10, 2013

love you Jane.


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