I am 26yrs old lost my husband on 9th Dec 2016 11 months af

[90]

I am 26yrs old lost my husband on 9th Dec 2016 11 months after we began our married life, I met him when I was merely 16 loved him like crazy for the last 10 yrs.We grew together in this journey of life.Life was so perfect with him that I never bothered with anything else.I lost him when we went on a picnic with friends, He hit his head on the rock inside the water and felt unconscious and drowned, He was a water baby never in my wildest dream did I think I'll lose him to water.
I am struggling to live since then, I am so angry with God, I keep pleading to take me to my baby but I know I am kept here to suffer for eternity.

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[80]
Feb 21

@CKBlossom Surely I would want him to live happily but there are days I think i am so cheating on him by choosing life and not death to be with him.
In the last 2 months I have tried committing suicide so many times and failed, honestly speaking nothing killed me as though my insides were made of steel...i won't lie in all those failed attempts it felt like my baby held me really tight saying hold on u can't die like this.I miss him

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CKBlossom's picture
[428700]
17 hours ago

@Kenrods I cannot even imagine the pain, have you considered grief therapy?

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[80]
8 hours ago

@CKBlossom I have, initially it did help..but then it started getting repetitive and nothing really helped me...i so want to b with my husband but at the same time I am scared that God might punish me and not let me be with him for cutting my journey short here.

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