****TW I just don't see a reason to live anymore, all of m

Abstrac's picture
[115]

****TW
I just don't see a reason to live anymore, all of my life I have been trying to do the right things, loving all the wrong people who treat me like ****. I can't seem to find a job and keep that job. I've been struggling my whole life with no break one bad thing happens right after the other. In one week my abusive girlfriend left me and I cut off the whole world for her so now I'm completely alone while she's off with another guy doing things she'd never do for me. I also got fired from my job so I'm most likely going to lose my apartment and my friend crashed my car into a house after me telling him not to drive my car. Suicide has always been something on the back of my mind. No matter what I do in this life no matter how good i am to people nothing matters my life is **** and has always been ****. I don't want to leave my bed my room my house. I just sit here all day grabbing a phone that doesn't ring wishing I had the balls to walk away from this hopeless life. But I don't so I sit here suffering. Everyone in my family looks at me like a mess up even though I haven't done anything wrong never been arrested never been in any real trouble I just don't want to be here anymore. There is nothing left for me.

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norseduncan's picture
[108335]
Nov 9

we do. take a step back and look at hat you can change in life, and change it. maybe even write down a plan, if that helps. look at why you lose jobs and see what you can change there. look at why you form relationships with people who act like this and change that. look at what causes these struggles and the things you can. you can turn this around.

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hopexo's picture
[12795]
Nov 9

Hey, if you've been good to people, then there is something to live for. Maybe the people who left you have been dealing with things you don't know about, or they just don't see the good in you. But it seems like you don't have much to regret, and you're just feeling alone in this life. Are you actually planning to hurt yourself? If you are, it may be a good idea to call a professional. But if not, start by taking care of yourself. It's a hard thing to do but look in the mirror and say "I am valuable". Anything to start picking yourself up a little bit. There are some things that can't be fixed, it's true, but this isn't the end for you. I'm not the best at advice but I've felt this way before, and hugs go out to you. <3

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[1145]
Nov 13

that is a lot to have to deal with all at once. Anybody placed under the same circumstances would be incredibly triggered. The feelings that you have are natural and normal. I want you to know that even though it seems like your circumstances will never change there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Once you reach that light you will have been transformed for the better. I promise, this is all apart of your journey and there are lessons to be learned from what is happening. Try to take a step back and look at the bigger picture to determine what they are. You are so strong and deserve to be loved properly. Your ex made room in your life for someone else to come through. Someone who will be a better fit for you. The fact that she left means that a part of you is changing and no longer needs her negative energy in your life. This is a good sign that you are growing and loving yourself more. Trust that all will be well. Life has a way of working itself out. You are surrounded in love and must be patient. Every moment is a victory of survival. Try to practice gratitude as much as you can everyday. It is time to change your mental programming. Look up gratitude and self love affirmations. See if this may help.

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