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***trigger warning*** yesterday I finally told my hubby the

Sosh2018's picture

***trigger warning*** yesterday I finally told my hubby the details of my "bad thoughts and urges" I keep getting daily. That I have the urge to take a bunch of pills, like I have before. I would go to the hospital, if my job wasn't at risk, but it is at risk. I already got a warning from my supervisor for missing three days because of physical health reasons. I feel so stuck, at risk, confused, and helpless.

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Sosh2018's picture
May 17, 2019

@growingrace He has his own private practice, and yea I actually am in a group through my church, but it is a marriage group, mostly with couples much older than us. I been thinking about joining a grief group though if I can find it. And thank you for your reply, I appreciate it.

May 17, 2019

@Sosh2018 Good u got to see him but.... Doesn't sound like u got all that u need altho u do sound a little better....(?)
Not fully understanding your work days/hours nor area (small town?) where u LCSW...it seems like u may want to research other options for medication management???
I would agree that journaling--your symptoms, how u feel, intensity, how often, what helps... Would that help?
Do u see pdoc monthly?
You could also make a note of your medication history..
That way you could maybe have more facts together for next Appointnent? Or call his office next week and speak with him (?) and tell him this isn't working and u really need something more..
Googling "meds for intrusive thoughts" brings up SSRIs... Maybe u need that or dosage change. Ketamine is newly approved for tx of depression... Just some thoughts... Keep us posted

Sosh2018's picture
May 20, 2019

Yea, I am supposed to see the pdoc monthly, but he doesn't listen, he has canceled several times, and now he wants to change to over the phone appointments on top of him still charging me even when he doesn't show up. I spoke with my dad and he suggested I see their Psychiatrist because she listens and is attentive and tries to work with you as best as possible. the only thing is Me and my hubby have been barely making ends meet, and if we cancel with this Psychiatrist there is a huge cancellation fee because he goes by a contract. I cannot up the dosage on the med he has for me now because it causes me sexual dysfunction (and I am young and married and that is something I DO NOT want to deal with). So yea I also did ask him to try a different med but he wasn't hearing me out. I almost left my most recent appointment crying because going through severe chronic depression (for many years being numb) is like torture and whereas I know meds don't erase the problem I know from seeing people around me go through medication management for mental health that it does in fact help drastically. So that's all I want...to try a different med.

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