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****Trigger Warning**** Oml my mind is like a war zone righ

SmolCuteBear's picture
[740]

****Trigger Warning**** Oml my mind is like a war zone right now. The suicidal thoughts have returned. But idk man, they're different. Something's wrong, but not the right type of wrong. Used to be I just thought about how much I want to die only at night and cry myself to sleep. NOW? All day I just think "I wanna die I wanna die I wanna freakin die." But I'm not crying anymore. It's more like fact than emotion, ya know what I mean? I don't care about anything but being sick in the head. My psychiatrist told me about a PHP program, but idk if I need it, to be honest. I feel like if I'm not crying, I don't need it lol. That sounds weird, but that's what I feel. I have a plan to kill myself, but I don't have a day yet. It's basically whenever I'm feeling up to it. College is coming up soon, so I wanna kill myself before that. (I put the trigger warning cuz idk when to exactly use it for what I say.)

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[29750]
Jul 11

Yay! So glad you got into the program and your mom will be supportive around it! I hope you find it to be helpful. Do you know when you will start?

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Aliceinwonderlannd's picture
[5375]
Jul 11

When I have suicidal thoughts I like to imagine how would it be that something incredible would happen..like.what if I can have a super power , or become a vampire...or get magic powers...because I think that would make life worth living ...
Find your safe thoughts....anyway one day you ll die, what if you loose something meanwhile
Or you know what, before you really do it, you can do whatever cross your mind because..why not.anyway you die after, why not do everything before

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SmolCuteBear's picture
[740]
Jul 14

@L2015 I'm gonna start on the 23rd of July. I'm really nervous but excited at the same time! :3

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