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*trigger warning i think* I've never felt so numb to the wo

Believerinbetter's picture
[20905]

*trigger warning i think*
I've never felt so numb to the world in my life. I keep trying to cry, but all my emotions are like gone. I laugh a little at school with friends and only really feel heard when I'm talking to my one friend on the phone. Other than that, i don't find excitement in things. I come home from school, clean, then sleep. And maybe homework if i can bring myself to (just recently im having trouble with procrastination). Other than that, i'll think about killing myself not because im in some deep dark sadness, but because i feel nothing. Like my existence is freaking useless. I hate not feeling, but i hate feeling too. Is this really what i have come to? Is this really the crap i have to endure unless i wanna just give in to the depression and kill myself? This is all a mess, no sugar coating that.

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Believerinbetter's picture
[20905]
Jan 12

@Error101 I always wanted to learn to swim, really. But when I was like 5, I almost drowned and i've always had some fear of drowning ever since. But i don't wanna let that stop me forever, Im open to the idea of learning to swim. Plus, it looks so relaxing.

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Believerinbetter's picture
[20905]
Jan 12

@BetterHope Yes, so emotionally overwhelmed that it physically hurts.

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Believerinbetter's picture
[20905]
Jan 12

@Silentwolf I witnessed something very traumatizing when I was younger, but I don't think I have PTSD. But then again, i don't really understand my mind at all. Thanks for trying to help. Hugs to u too!

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