Trigger warning at least i think so :/ - - i'm getting

smallandsad's picture
[1905]

Trigger warning
at least i think so
:/
-
-
i'm getting suicidal. more like suicidal ideations. i know i'm not going to actually kill myself but it's just a pressing thought where life seems useless and exhausting. the idea of being dead is kind of frightening cuz it's the unknown and like there's no garentee but still my mind keeps saying "it couldn't be any worse" i want it to get better but most times i don't want to get better. like if i get better i won't cut or have my "bad" coping habits and i can't picture life without them. i want to die. not necessarily kill myself but to die. like getting hit by a car or some freak accident. but the thoughts are getting more intrusive and i feel like i'm getting less careful when i'm in more dangerous situations. like walking next to a busy street or driving on the highway.

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 3
norseduncan's picture
[104355]
Oct 12

it does not have to be this way. you can adjust your thinking and find hope and happiness. you are very young yet, and have already made such a huge positive impression on us here. don't focus maybe on the big picture of 'life being better' but on smaller steps that lead in that direction

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Error101's picture
[60475]
Oct 13

I thought of doing much terrible things. But I have a few ways around them. To be honest, living life on the streets is more normal in America it seems. I see so many people. Like 1000 in NJ where all camping in the woods. And NC they sleep on the side walks. Me personally I would live my life in Hawaii. I would only pack 3 days of essentials. If I could do this right now. I would tag up with others and do it

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Hachii's picture
[275]
Oct 13

I know how you feel. Every time I go out of the house I hope something would happen that left me dead. I think about how I could die every time my mind is not distracted by something. My life seems meaningless. And the only thing that helps is to cut. But it will get better. It sounds impossible. But it will. I don`t believe it too. But somehow it will.

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