I am feeling very down and stressed out this morning, my bod

[2995]

I am feeling very down and stressed out this morning, my body is weak, my eyes are blurry, and having very depressed thoughts.

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grey_waters's picture
[3035]
Jun 21

@GrosPont15 My apartment is 40 square meters, so it's not that big of a deal to really clean it. I could probably devote one full day to that, and would be done with it, but whenever I have a day off, I just want to rest. I do clean from time to time, but the small stuff just keeps accumulating and discourages me. I recently have thrown away half of my clothes, and it didn't help.
I have a big trouble with prioritizing things and I tend to do the least engaging first, and the most urgent just gets put away, until it just makes me so anxious that I can't bear it.
But your advice about portions seems good. I get very distracted when I clean, so I start with one place, don't finish and do a few more things around the house. So I feel like I've been cleaning for hours, and yet nothing looks done.
I would never, however, allow anyone to clean my stuff. Too much anxiety.

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[1975]
Jun 23

you are attaching imaginary danger to discomfort. procrastination is fear. i do the very same thing. i'm almost afraid to feel better about anything. Perfectionism is a hope, a dream, and an illusion. Do what the 'average' apartment dweller would do, although the range of 'averageness' is vast, indeed. i know a lot of folks who would never allow someone to clean their homes. Lower your standards and your performance will rise. Our problems are newspapers all over the place, books, bills, filler paper, etc. unfortunately, if you want something, you have to want to do what it takes to get it accomplished.

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grey_waters's picture
[3035]
Jun 23

@GrosPont15 I think it might be the point. Discomfort is not dangerous, it's just an inconvenience, but the amount of anxiety it can cause is ridiculous. I have OCD tendencies that are usually under control, but can spring back to life when the anxiety is heightened for a long time. For now I just decided to do something - anything, no matter how small - everyday, when it comes to cleaning. It makes me a bit more comfortable and I don't feel that much guilt anymore. I actually like when my OCD kicks in full time, cause then I can't stop cleaning. But I know how dangerous that can be, so I don't want to go there.

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