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Okay, so I am under a lot of stress lately. In 25 and my wif

[3265]

Okay, so I am under a lot of stress lately. In 25 and my wife and i are about to have baby number 3. I'm working on beginning a legitimate career, but getting my foot in the door has been an exhausting process. Come November I can try again and hope for the best. Now my current employer has announced that severe cuts are being made over the next week. Our fleet is being halved and we are losing a substantial number of employees. Job security has just become nonexistent to some degree, and this is the second time it's happened when we have had a child. On top of it all I've been plagued with a problem lately. When I first started working I was in a situation where, being a Male I wasmt comfortable dealing with harrassment. There were a few women I worked with who would make comments about me, and at least one who would inappropriately touch me while at work. I laughed it off and made the best of the situation, and never confronted anyone. I didnt like what was happening. Having dealt with problems with myself in the past this behaviours made me feel bad. And ashamed. And now, years later I dont know if they did anything wrong since I never confronted them or told them how I felt about it. Now I have this resting in the back of my mind. I dont know how I'm supposed to feel, or if they were in the wrong and I dont want to take this to the sexual harrassment group and upset people who have been through worse because I dont feel like this is a valid complaint. Any advice from anyone? Am I wrong for feeling bad about it or should I just take it in stride?

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[1740]
Sep 16

@anonymousmeagain I believe you are experiencing great anxiety due to the stressors of life. Handling the birth and responsibility of 3 new lives as well as providing a safe place for your wife while she mothers your children is an unbelievable amount of stress. Add to that your young age and cultures push to encourage each of to seek our own, while deep down you know it is selfishness to feel neglected by your wife who is choosing to breast feed. Its a lot to take in, its a lot to manage. However, if you are finding yourself with such high anxiety you need to take an assessment of your emotional and physical health because without you, your family would suffer greatly. My advice is to allow your wife to come home from the birth of your third child (every child is a blessing) and once she finds a pattern of how to be a mom to three, have a heart to heart about your needs. Explain to her how you need to time to feel secure in providing for the family before (or even if) you would want to add to the family further. Talk to her about cutting breast feeding back to 6 months verses a year. There are scientific studies that clearly show babies breast fed the first few months benefit greatly but that benefit diminishes over an expanded time. You also need to let her know how you need to focus on your own health physically, as you are struggling to eat and maintain a healthy weight and eating schedule. You also need to have a goal sheet for your family, casting a vision for where you want your family to be in the next five years. These goals cannot be accomplished without a vision and the two of you working toward a common goal. If you need to return to trade school or college to improve your families future also include this in the goal. I would also suggest finding a mentor to help guide you through the planning and implementing stage. Having a successful family and life is doable, but it takes a worked plan. I hope you'll take this advice and a year from now look back and see a positive change in your world. You have done so much as young man and you appear to have a heart for your family, they are blessed to have you. However, without a game plan even a young dad can fumble. Be kind to yourself and seek counsel. I have a number where you can call to find guidance near you, its 1-855-382-5433.

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[3265]
Sep 16

@CassieShannon I am grateful that she breastfeeds for as long as she does. I'm more concerned with after it ends. For now we have a year without needing to provide food for another mouth. Its after that that worries me. Things are going a bit better though. We started our new work arrangement today. I'm not sure how I feel just yet but so far so good.

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[1740]
Sep 18

@anonymousmeagain Do you have family you can reach out to for financial assistance, guidance, or emotional support? If you do not have family or if they do not live close by, do you have a church family to lean on? I truly believe it would be wise to find support during these years of starting a family. Its difficult to be responsible for everything. If you need someone to speak to I have a number where you can call and get support. They will also help you find support where you live. It's private and confidential, the number is 1-855-382-5433. P

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