My heart is in so much pain. I feel completely lost. I have

[10]

My heart is in so much pain. I feel completely lost. I have been in a relationship for 7 years. We have an amazing 3 year old daughter. We share a beautiful home. We are apart of each other’s families. He has cheated on me continually through tour entire relationship. In the beginning I had it in my head that I could make him love me and that he would quit. Stupid, I know. I was so in love with him. He was so kind, loving, adventurous, positive, fun. Everything I had ever dreamed of. I used to say he would be perfect if he just didn’t cheat on me. Again, stupid. Once I became pregnant I was so full of happiness that I quit looking through his stuff. I used to check all of his account constantly, which I how I found out about all the affairs. I quit checking because I wanted to believe in him. I wanted to be happy. I wanted a family. Last July I had a bad gut feeling so I checked. And like always found another affair. I have been in so much pain since then. Going on a year now. I’m afraid that I’ve grown to (almost) hate him. I’m so full of anger and sadness. Emptiness. Now I’m faced with how this is affecting our daughter. I’m so scared what this is doing to her. If I stay with him she will see the anger and sadness. She will. It ever know what true love looks like. If I leave him, I will loose precious time with her. I will have to share her. I will have to move her out of her Home and into an apartment. I will have to struggle financially and miss so much with her. Sometimes I get so angry with myself for bringing her into this but then I think that I would not have her if I wouldn’t have made that desicion. She is my world and I could not imagine my life without her. I would do anything for her...

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CKBlossom's picture
[426000]
May 15

Stop, you are making yourself into a victim, go to a divorce lawyer and see what you need to do to get alimony and the best custody arrangement. Do what you can to be the one calling the shots, he has been calling the shots for too long.

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