I need advice from mother I was raised without a mom who b

Dominicbl89's picture
(365)

I need advice from mother
I was raised without a mom who bailed on me so I have never learned things I should've from a mother. Now I'm raising my child because his mom left him.
How and what do I do to compensate for the things that only a mother can teach him?
I dont want him to end up like me.

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 3
(75)
Oct 30, 2019

First off - don't sell yourself short. Just by creating this post it shows that you care about your child and want to be the best parent possible to your kid.

I too was abandoned by a parent at a young age so I know what it's like growing up in a single parent household. For me it was my dad so I had no "father figure" growing up. However, not to be crude, but being a sperm donor (or egg donor) doesn't make you a parent. If you have other women in your life (mom, sister, female friends) you should try to incorporate them into activities with your child so they can have "normalized" experiences with female figures - something routine like a weekly diner, or help with homework. Other than that, keep doing what you are doing, be there for your kid, support them where you think they need it, and reach out for help when you feel a bit overwhelmed.

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(1475)
Nov 1, 2019

Your cry for some help says a lot. It shows you love this kiddo and want to do right by him...to love unconditionally.......to give your child what he needs and see him become the best he can be. Let your lack of a mom be your springboard to be the best parent you can be. All those things you wished your mom did for you, the times you needed her there, the things of life you wanted her to teach you, etc etc. Do all those things for your child! My son grew up without his father but he is the best dad to four little girls you ever saw!~ He determined that all he had missed out on would never ever happen to his kids. Use your lack to fill this little one with love overflowing......you can't go wrong with love!!!! Do you belong to a church? Let some of the women help or maybe family or friends. Im sure he will get plenty of female nurturing and influence. he is one lucky kiddo to have you!

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Dominicbl89's picture
(365)
Nov 6, 2019

@Katya12 No family around for bout 300miles. I went to a church that has single parent support group but was denied access to the class at first then when they let me in all the moms treated me like I was some pos weekend warrior dad. Even after explaining my situation they still treated me like I didn't belong there. And was pretty much told, well then stop keeping him from his mother cuz that's where he belongs not with me. Needless to say I snapped. Told them she abandoned him almost two years ago and wants nothing to do with him. Then walked out saying something like, for a church group you guys are unholy as hell.
Hopefully this parenting class/therapy course can get us on the right track.

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