Hello, so I am currently in a situation with my ex. I am a

Hello, so I am currently in a situation with my ex. I am a single 17 year old mom in a custody battle. I have had my son for the past 6 months to my self until a few days ago after a temporary orders hearing where just on Thursday I received a parenting time schedule. My ex is a minor who is 17 and has smoked marijuana since he was 14 and still smoked when when our child was born. He has only stopped because of drug test but his mother smokes with him and his brothers who are also minors. I have called cps on them and although they didn’t find anything about the mother smoking with them they did see the concerns of the children smoking. After this the younger brother who is 16 a month later posted a bong. As well as the older brothers girlfriend had threatened me and currently goes over to their house everyday even spends night and my child is over there. They all smoke even underage and the court still is giving him and equal parenting schedule. I have showed the judge the proof yet she says that the past is the past even though this was after they were told to stop smoking. I feel as though the judge is on their side and is not taking into consideration how this is not a safe environment for my child. Does anyone have any ideas on what I can do or help my case? Please let me know as I am very worried since my son is in that household.

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Justwanttobeloved's picture
Oct 27

Your best bet, is documentation! Document the posts, threats, ANYTHING that shows/proves that your child is in danger or in an unsafe environment. It'll take time, as well as persistence. You're a great mom, since you want your child to be safe and well cared for.


Praying for you, my ex promised me he would stop smoking while we were together but was always smoking behind my back and practically everyone in his family smokes. They (his parents) also said when they had moved at one point they would stop at least smoking in the house so it would not smell but still did. I became a evil person to a family member in their family for calling DSS on abuse but his family was more on that family members side cause the outcome was not great and they started treating me differently. It is terrible when you are in a situation you can not control. If anything if they will be reasonable you need to find a small way to bond bridges and see if they will be reasonable enough to keep the baby in certain rooms/ them not smoke in the house. Though I say that with you calling people and making public pleas for help they may not be willing to be cooperative. You are not doing anything wrong about worrying for the children even though right now they will not stop smoking unless they really want to and could be addicted and find it hard to quit at the moment, Keep documentation and if you have friends or family members who go over there have them take photos if someone is smoking if that is what your wanting/needing for proof. (though if they are not sneaky I can imagine the terrible snowball that can happen.) You cannot get someone in trouble for hearsay, have to have proof these children are buying and using it or that the mother is doing the same as well as sharing with them. At this point you probably do not want to stir the pot much further and may just want to try seeing if the court can give counseling to start finding a middle ground because I do not see it happening just between the families with all thats been happening. I think this is alot especially for 17 year olds to have to deal with by themselves, so having extra support somewhere in the court would be best. I would start (If you are not already) have a friend or family member come with you for drop off and pick up (one that may not get get upset and make a sitution worse also would be a good choice lol) so they are a witness and record if need be. At the end of the day he will be your childs father for a very long time so at some point unless you get full custody you have to get along enough for child care and drop off situations. I hate this for you and am praying for you and your baby

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