I've realized that I've dealt with compulsive spending for a

I've realized that I've dealt with compulsive spending for a long time. It crops up when I'm under stress. I think it's a way to avoid emotions sometimes. I've been alone for over two months. ALONE alone. I have one person in the world and his dad just died of Covid all the way in Egypt over the holidays. It's been very stressful and I spent a lot of money that wasn't even mine. I spend all my money on my dog and cat. Sometimes on improving the household. So much wasted, embarrassing costs. Now that I feel better I can take a step back and realize what I've been doing... But my credit card is a wreck and I'm disabled and unable to even work to pay it off. It's depressing and adds to the stress I'm already under. And yet I'm thinking about the things I want to spend money on right this moment! I try to play games and do other things but it's really hard.