But she is so young!

I have been with my husband for 6 years - married for almost 3 years. We have a great sex life. He tells me all the time that I am more beautiful than he is handsome, and he doesn't deserve me.
He is a coach and teacher at a HS and I support all his games and come to all the after parties with the other coaches. I give him attention and tell him how much I adore him.
For the past 4 months, he has been mean - for no reason. Very irrational and hurtful with his words. I have told him I don't understand how we have grown apart in such little time. He has been so mean that I recently told him that I was not going to accept him like this and was considering divorce. Every time I spoke of divorce, he would beg and give me love. But he would have these "mean spell" almost everday - then beg for me not to leave.
I received a recording at my door-step of a conversation with him and a boyfriend of my husbands former 19-year-old student. He got ahold of her phone and intercepted some text messages. This boyfriend sent me the cd as well as my husbands boss, who fired him on the spot.
They had met at a hotel 2 different times and had sex. This was not an affair of the heart and he is not attracted to this girl - but she is a teenager!! I can forgive him of this loveless affair, but I don't know how to recover from the thoughts of his 47 year old body with her 19 year old firm skin. I am also 47 and am slender and fit. I have kept my self looking young and pretty, but I am aged!
Please share if you have any words of comfort or advice on this. Is my husband too sick for being with a teenager, to continue with him? Or as he claims, would any man give into being seduced?

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Jan 4, 2012

Thank you for your kind words. I am surprised that I have not left him. He is doing and saying all the right things, as people in these similar situations do. He is humbled and has turned to God and has begged me not to leave. I know that I can only take things day-by-day. My daughter goes to the same school that he taught at and is active in sports. The principal told everyone that my husband had another business opportunity and that is the story that we are sticking too. I am tired of people coming up and congratulating me as if we were going through something spectacular, when I am going through the most horrible thing ever!

For the time being - I am staying. The thing that bothers me is that I have no choice! I cannot make it financially with my own income - and I am still going through a terrible custody battle with my ex-husband which has me owing thousands to my attorney. I have no family and no friends for support. I battle with depression and suicidal thoughts. I really have nothing to live for. The only love and acceptance that I get is through my husband - and he is very kind with his words...

How do I become empowered enough to make my choice for the right reason?

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Jan 4, 2012

I would live under a bridge in a cardboard box before I would subject myself to being with this guy. What if his next young victim is your high school daughter?

April's picture
Jan 4, 2012

We understand hon, its not easy to get your bag & go & you can only put out the fires one at a time, so do know we're all here to talk, when you feel up to it. Him turning to God doesnt work for me (I sense hes grasping for straws) yet one never knows, so let his actions speak the loudest & I'm sure he is being VERY kind w/his words right now as hes got himself into a mess & crying MOMMY right now, it is a shame he couldnt have done that w/the little girl as this isnt all her fault, even if she walked buck naked infront of him, he should have told her to put her clothes on.....you get what I'm mean.

Utilize this time to gain useful information for yourself: http://www.divorceinfo.com/ has alot of info one doesnt think of when under so much stress, do look through it when you feel a bit better & too, you could look at rentals in your area (online) just to get a handle of costs necessary, should you so choose later on. Sometimes one can file papers at their local court house for a small filing fee. In time this information CAN help empower you.
If this incident goes further be prepared to embrace this little girl w/guidance, empathy, as shes my sons age & doesnt predict the ramifications of her actions as her brain isnt fully developed til age 25, sure they know right from wrong but look at your hubbies decision/choices too.

Learn from this w/your hubby should you stay together.

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