How do you walk away from a Family member without it breaking your heart
I am new here, but thought maybe someone would be able to give me some advice or just talk to me. I am completely lost. My youngest sister is a Heroin addict. She has battled addiction since she was 13 years old (she is now 23) I have spent the majority of those years trying to help her. Taking on the stress, the anxiety and the abuse that her addiction has brought. It started with smoking pot, then taking pills, now she has gone to Heroin. I have begged on my hands and knees for her to please get help. Two days ago her boyfriend came to my house and showed me all the bags of heroin that she has been taking, he wasnt aware that she had gone back to using. I invited her to my home later on that day to try to talk to her, I begged her and told her that I dont want to bury my little sister, that I would do anything to help her. Eventually everything took a turn for the worst, she became extremely anger after finding out that I spoke with her boyfriend (who has decided that he cant be a part of her life any longer). She became verbally and physically abusive towards myself as well as my mother. I finally threw her out of the house, but not before she was able to tell me that she hates me and it is all my fault and that I ruined everything. I have made a decision that I cant be a part of her life anymore, not until she gets clean and stays clean. My problem is that my heart is breaking, I am grieving so much for the lose of my sister. I feel guilty for walking away from her. I feel like I let her down. I dont know how to walk away from her, but I know that I need to because right now I need to do whats best for me. Has anyone had to walk away from a family member? How do you do it? How do you live with the guilt? I have nightmares every night that I am trying to save my sister. How do I make the right choice?
Sep 18, 2012
My name is Kelly and I'm a heroin addict, I have been clean 4 years and counting. I am sorry about ur little sister. may God b on her side. I don't know much but I do know that until she reaches her ROCK bottom.. and that is diffrent for everyone she will never get clean. No one wants to see a loved one suffer..but know that the suffering and pain is all by her own hands and it is NESSACARY for her growth. Don't enable her..let her go.. and I can't promise that she will get better but I can promise that she will have a hell of a lot more of a chance..Don't give into her begging.. don't feed her, let her shower at ur home, don't even let her in ur home.. DON'T give her money no matter what she says just rember she is SICK not a bad person. I have been homeless, robbed, lied, had many bad ppl do bad things to me..and even tried to murder my own mother once for $50 dollars.. I live with that shame everyday but I have a beautiful life now with an amazing 7yr old son and my family back.. I still have anger issues but I have the tools to cope now. People CAN change but u gotta give her a reason to.. u enabling her to b a drug addict will keep her a drug addict.. same **** same results.. I hope u find peace and u can stay strong good luck to u!!! message me if u ever need to talk!
Sep 18, 2012
Thank you for your kind words and advice. I hope I can find peace too, this is very hard for me to deal with. And the worst part is I dont really have anyone to talk to about it or to get any support. My boyfriend is very supportive but he doesnt understand so he is just angry and everytime I tried to talk to him, he gets upset. I am just going to go through this I guess one minute at a time.
Thank you again!
Sep 18, 2012
Sometimes all we can do is take it one minute at a time.. today is halfway over and ur still ok and ur sister is still alive..thats all that matters..baby steps..**** sometimes u even need to crawl..but just hang in there!! I think the best thing for u to do right now is to find a support group in ur area..maybe even go to a N/A meeting to get a better understanding of how ur sister is feeling right now..put yourself in her shoes..but also I think u need to hear all the sucess storys so that u keep ur hope.. don't ever lose that, don't give up on her.. she has quit b4 and she can do it agian!!! And it sounds like ur bf is trying but he is ready to move on and he is right don't let this consume ur life..just bc ur sis is sick does not mean u r and u can't stop living...