My wife never wants sex

This is the first time that I've ever engaged in this type of thing on the internet, but I'm getting desperate.

My wife and I have been married for 13 years and we have 4 beautiful children. On the surface, life could not be much better - we love our jobs, we are socially well connected, we have no in-law issues, the kids are great - but things have been deteriorating over the last year when it comes to intimacy and sex.

We have always had a healthy and regular sex-life. A couple of times a day in the early days gradually wound down to a couple of times a week - which I was totally OK with. Along with that, my wife loved to snuggle up on the lounge or in bed to watch a movie etc.

In the last 12 months, she seems to have gone right off any type of intimacy/touching, let alone sex. When we do have sex she makes it quite obvious that she is doing this for me not for her (taking one for the team). I find this offensive and usually resist having sex in these circumstances. She has taken to avoiding going to bed with me at the same time or watching TV until I can't keep my eyes open - anything to avoid my advances. It's gotten to the stage where I am getting quite depressed by it all.

The sad thing for me is that she regularly makes comments about men on TV and passing on the street how hot they are and giving the impression that she'd be happy to bone them if they'd have her.

Anyway, is anyone else going through the same thing? Any tips or ideas on what I could do?

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Aug 4, 2010

maybe as flowergirlh20 suggests, your wife is not as satisfied as you can only assume that she is until you both have that discussion that goes deeper than the surface. just how willing you are to go that far is up to you also. sometimes it can be a shock to find out that for years we thought someone was happy when in fact they just put up with things for the sake of the other person, the children or for peace. tiredness is a major factor in female sexuality as is feeling special. suggest you both book into relationship counselling workshop to put the fun back into your marriage. often when everything looks great on the surface it belies the deep issues that are building up... have a good think about it, sex is a small part of the overall warmth between couples.

May 26, 2011


May 26, 2011

After that many years of having sex with the same person, sex can become pretty boring and predictable. Even for couples that are madly in love, it still can be mundane. (I'm speaking from experience)

It could be a hormonal thing on her part, very common for women of mid-age. The fact that she made comments about other guys on tv and in public worries me a bit. I hate to think of the negative, but is there a chance that someone else has caught her eye? I'd consider looking into it just in case. hopefully though it's just mid-life stuff and the fact that you have 4 children running around. Sometimes it can make a woman loose her identity as a woman when she's so caught up in being a mommy.


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