Help my husband understand.....

I found out like 2 years ago I had endrometriosis. It was stage 4 and had to go to immediate surgery. I had my right ovary and Fallopian tube removed and endro in the other ovary, appendix and colon. Three months after the surgery it came back on the other ovary again stage 4 and I started lupron which almost ended my marriage because of the hormon pills I was given. The lupron stopped the pain but it did not shrink so I had to have surgery again 1 year later. Now I'm still in pain like always. But I can't find a way to help my husband understand how much pain I'm in. We can't even have sex that often because it hurts. He just keeps asking for it so I cave. I feel that I might lose him if I don't. I feel so guilty every time I say no and he feels like I don't find him attractive. He tells me that he feels like I'm his roommate, not his wife. I have tried to give him info to read but it is like he still doesn't
T understand. We have only been married 1.5 years and I don't want it to end because of this.... Help!

show more ⇓
View 1 More Comment
mm4bella's picture
Jul 24, 2012

when my endo flairs up they both hurt. i have tried to explain to my husband as well and he doesnt understand. i showed him the pictures they took of mine and everything. he has started to understand a little of how much pain due to how much pain I am in but he doesnt understand completley. I just have to keep reminding him that its not that i dont want to have sex I physically cant it hurts toooooo bad.... we went for almost 3 months without sex. on days when i didnt feel to bad we would have sex until it hurt and then we would stop. that seemed to help cuz he still kknew i needed him. Maybe try to tell him that you still need him physically and Emontionally now more than ever and promise to make it up to him

Hope you the best of luck and if you find anything that helps them understand please share

Jul 25, 2012

Hello, I had the same issue with my ex fiance. He didn't understand why I couldn't be intimate with him. It took him 4 1/2 years to fully understand what it was like. I had to sit him down and be very blunt with him. Although I found that given the days that I wasn't in as much pain, showing him that I wanted to be intimate with him helped. Even little things helped him be more secure, and realize that I was attracted to him. Maybe try to understand what is a middle ground in the intimatcy department. Therefore he knows you love him, and you don't have to go through the pain of sex.

I hope this helps

Aug 28, 2012

I know exactly what you're going through. I was diagnosed 4 years ago and did birth control and hormones. Everything in my life has been suffering from that pain: school, work, marriage,etc. It's hard men to truely understand what exactly we are going through. Maybe you shold have him speak to your doctor. I've recently found out about this new study and so far it's been great. It's changed my life!! No more pain and no more worries! There is no charge for study procedures. Please check out it's help drastically!! Worth a shot!


Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account