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I need help but im too scared to actually talk to someone in

I need help but im too scared to actually talk to someone in person about it so this is a good alternative. But i just had flashbacks of the times ive been sexually assaulted and when i was raped by my boyfriend. Somehow i made myself forget. So im kind of freaking out. ive never talked about what happend. So i would like to know how to cope and get support from people who understand. i feel like i have no one to turn to. thank you.

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[20]
Dec 3

thank you so much. This has really helped me a lot. I would say im doing a little better. just trying to take things one day at a time. Thanks for your concern. I truly appreciate it.

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[1250]
Dec 3

It's a very healthy sign that you are willing to open up to others about the abuse you endured. Keeping secrets and things stuffed down deep inside is very toxic to yourself, physically, mentally, emotionally. So, kudos to you for this!! One thing that helped me a ton when the mental torture began was to, when it began, to first take a deep breath and then speak truth into that moment and situation.
I would say things to myself like, "It's over, this person cannot hurt me any longer, I refuse to give any more energy into toxic thoughts, toxic memories or toxic feelings and people. I forgive my abusers, they don't deserve it, but I'm doing it as a healthy act for myself, because I deserve it. What they did to me was wrong. What I choose to do now is to live a healthy life, free of these thoughts torturing me. I want to live life, happy and healthy again. It starts with me." Then I began to declare something I was thankful for instead of complaining or being negative, even if it's the smallest thing, do it. Soon, it becomes a habit of thankfulness that can really change your thinking quickly. I started with things like, I'm thankful I can breath, smell, see, walk, that I am able to work, take care of myself, go to school... etc.... you get the picture. It really helps to meditate and get out of a funk of what I call, "stinking thinking". Do you have a counselor, a pastor or trusted friend you can turn to on days when you're struggling? Simply having someone in your corner can be that lifeline to help you get over the hump of the day. Praying for you Sallen.

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[23110]
Dec 3

You're welcome. Glad you are feeling a little better today. This takes quite a while to heal, so please don't berate yourself if you find yourself feeling better some days and pretty bad some day. Please don't hesitate to keep writing here, as your feelings and memories come and go.

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