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Hello, I'm new here and wanted to ask a question. When I wa

[420]

Hello, I'm new here and wanted to ask a question. When I was 8 years old I was sexually abused by a man I didn't know. I never told my parents I was afraid I would get in trouble. The way I coped with it was every night in bed I would say over and over that didn't happen. I've never seeked help because I didn't know who the man was and my memory is really fragmented. In my mind I feel like I've dealt with it. Should I seek professional help just to make sure I'm looking at things in a healthy way? Thank you

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[960]
Aug 13

Question for you... is the memory or lack thereof causing you any issues today? You stated you dealt with it mentally, are there other effects happening in your life that bring the abuse front and center? I too come from an abused background and know that coping mechanisms can either be short term, or long term, it sounds like you feel like you put the abuse to rest in your mind from a willful decision to tell yourself it didn't happen when it did. Have you considered maybe starting really small ways of filtering through the issues like journaling or telling a trusted friend who wouldn't judge you? I found that when I finally told someone a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. However, if it's not something where the memory fragments haunt you daily/weekly/monthly, perhaps another option is to mentally close the chapter on a hurtful event wherein you had no control and focus on what things in life you can control. I read a fantastic book called, "Battlefield of the Mind, by Joyce Meyers", she was sexually abused as a child by her father, she found freedom from the mental battle by realizing she has a choice daily on what she chooses to think about or allow to be thought of. You might check it out, great resource for healing and strength.

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[420]
Aug 13

Hi RoseyViolet, I do feel I have codepend issues whether that stems from the abuse I'm not sure. I have told a friend however the event was so fragmented it didn't make much sense or sound like nothing really happen to me. Weird how the mind works. I've tried to journal and shortly thereafter found myself on the internet trying to search for who this person was, any other reports around the same time. I didn't find anything it was too long ago. I will look into the Joyce Meyers book. Thanks for responding to my post. Take care

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[960]
Aug 14

I understand what you are saying completely! I really feel for you. In the midst of my abuse I often felt as if I had several "out of body" or personality disorder type of tendencies as I felt like my entire life was a lie and a fake coping. Frankly, the real change happened when I felt like I was in a deep pit of despair and my only way to claw out was to cry out to God and seek His help through acceptance of Jesus Christ truly within my heart to begin the slow process back to healing one prayer and dependence at a time. Additionally, I forgave my abuser, that seemed really silly to me in the beginning as I didn't think that he deserved my gift of forgiveness but instead needed to pay, but I quickly realized that I too didn't deserve forgiveness of any and all of my sins therefore I was no different or better than any other sinner out there. Once I forgave simply out of an act of obedience to God as He says this is how to begin healing, exchanging my hurt for obedience and trust in Him to punish the abuser, not me, because the more I held onto hurt, abuse, bitterness and strife, the more it kept me in prison. Forgiveness set me free to be able to move forward, put the events behind me and begin to heal properly. I pray you too will find healing Jewlee. I'll be praying for you friend, its a process, but I know there is healing beyond the hurt.

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