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trigger warning ive been thinking of cutting myself again.


trigger warning
ive been thinking of cutting myself again. i google pictures of cutting to calm myself down. there is nothing like that feeling and that is very scary to me. it has been a couple years since i quit cutting and im scared that i might do it again.

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NormalFreak101's picture
Jul 15

@www.hope I wanted to hurt others. It definitely helps. I used to stare at killing death in cartoons to make myself realize that i was wrong. I would stare at it for hours on end reminding myself why. I wanted to see red blood from my arm coming out of me and I had to do whatever it takes to get better. I did that for 18 months. I highly recommend it if you are thinking negative such as jail, suicide, murder, serial killer. Note I am not like that anymore.

www.hope's picture
Jul 16

@Error101 Well, it's good you found something that works. As long as you are not hurting yourself, or other, you have time to keeping learning new coping skills.

NormalFreak101's picture
Jul 20

@www.hope actually, I am much better. I don't harm myself anymore. I know that if I do self harm again. I will have to commit suicide to protect others from me where I live ("to protect others rule"). I live by my rules. I made them when I was younger because my mind was attacking myself. I faught within myself daily. I asked my dad for help because I was struggling with depression at 5 years old ("guessing" I know I was in 3-5 grade). He told me to go to bed and don't worry. I was hoping he had talk to me about my problem then. I wasn't suicidal, but I had everyday visioned multiple personalities of myself. I made up names, different personalities, I had at least 5 to 50. That is why rules were created to protect others from myself. I didn't understand life, I don't understand what is depression. I am used to it and that is why I am not effected by it.


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