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***TRIGGER WARNING**** I know its not good. But I want to c

***TRIGGER WARNING****
I know its not good. But I want to cut so badly right now. Im in my 2nd relapse. I have zero control of anything except when I cut.
Drawing doesnt work, journaling makes it worse, and ice and rubberbands dont work either.
Ideas?

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[270]
Jun 9

I tried that before by throwing it away or having a friend dispose of it...i just end up buying new stuff when the urge gets to be to strong.

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[270]
Jun 11

The first 2 are hard to do where I live. And for the eating one I cant just eat whenever I have an urge. Im trying to lose weight not gain it.

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[270]
Jun 13

@Error101, i am eating everyday unless i am panicking, because then that just makes me sick if I eat during or right after any form of panic or anxiety attack. Im not anorexic or bulemic.
I just do not need the extra calories of emotional eating, i did that without realizing it for 2 years and put on 30 extra pounds. Which makes me hate myself even more for being fat. Which i couldnt control to begin with. And thus the cycle begins again...i like food too much to not eat it. But eating everytime I have an urge will make me fatter not skinnier, and thus make me hate myself more and then the urges increase in intensity and the amount of them goes up too.

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