******TRIGGER WARNING****** i had a bad day i did someth

inuino's picture
[445]

******TRIGGER WARNING******
i had a bad day

i did something i haven't done since i was sixteen and i swore to myself id never let it happen again.

i had an episode and i lost control. i tried to stop myself.

i took a pen an stabbed myself with it repeatedly with the tip.

i feel awful

i dont want to be this way

i thought i waa getting better and i guess i am.

but im getting worse in other ways

i feel things so extremely on both sides of the spectrum

i feel like im in a perpetual rollercoaster that i cant get off of.

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 3
Jennipain's picture
[462200]
Aug 14

Now it's time to start over gain we all have down falls but we must try to get back up again. You are strong and can do this my friend. xo

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inuino's picture
[445]
Aug 14

thank you. i just feel like now that ive reopened this Pandora ls box i wont be able to shut it. all the reasons i took so much pleasure in these things have resurfaced. its all i think about its all i want and its never enough i always need more. its my drug of choice and my greatest addiction

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inuino's picture
[445]
Aug 24

*TW* I hurt myself again just like I felt I would. I sharpened the sides of the mechanical pencil lead and drew/carved five shapes inti my skin. a triangle on my right hip, a circle on my left wrist, a diamond on my left pelvis bone, an 'x' on the side of my left knee cap, and a peace sign on the inside of my left ankle. I'm worried itll happen again but at the same time i want to continue.

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