*trigger warning* hello this is my first time posting/sharin

*trigger warning* hello this is my first time posting/sharing in any type or support group. i am at rock bottom and my situation seems hopeless. i have isolated myself from all of my friends and family and now am left feeling alone and helpless. the arguing with my girlfriend seems to be constant and almost every argument i turn to some form of self harm (even the smallest of disagreements can spiral out of control) i feel guilty for self harming and i dont want to feel like i am manipulating my girlfriend. i usually hit myself in the forehead which leaves marks (swollen lips/black eyes) then every time i look in the mirror i am reminded of how low i feel. i also cut my thigh then pick the scabs for days afterwards. my medication and therapy does not seem to be working. its hard for me to tell since i dont really know what normal is supposed to feel like. my relationship with my mother is non existent and i feel terrible because shes getting older and i feel i am unprepared for the world. i quit my job and have been sitting around for months just feeling guilty about everything. my girlfriend wants to break up with me and idk what to do i dont know how to feel better and i feel i have nobody to talk to

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Hi matthew93,
I am sorry for what you are going through. You need to have hope. I encourage you to take care of yourself first. Self-harming does not solve anything. It aggravates your situation more because you can’t think properly, you can’t function well, and you are adding physical pain to the emotional pain that you are going through. You need to take a reverse course. Stop cutting and hitting yourself. If you do that, you are one step ahead to a better life. We are all are surrounded by problems. But if you solve these one at a time, many times things improve. You said meds and therapy don’t work, maybe its time to try something else. Go to a local church and talk to a pastor. A lot of people don’t like this because we have been bombarded with negative ideas about church and religious people. A lot of church people take their time to really help. A pastor can help you learn that you have a lot of value as a person, no matter how others treat you. I know people who started to have hope just by hearing how this came to be. They got motivated to improve their situation. Then these church people give practical help as well such as giving food and rides. Two of the churches in my area do this, others not as much. You need to find the ones who can give you good advice and help. I do hope that you reach out and get better.

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[75]
Mar 13

@[email protected]_1 thank you for your kind words and advice

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You are most welcome, matthew93. People cut or harm themselves because they believe that the physical pain will numb the other pain. Please convince yourself that this is not true. You can forget pain with good experiences instead of more pain. Here is a website that might help you fight cutting http://bit.ly/2xonvIF. There are several ways people fight it. Some people go to the movies, read in the library, visit nearby parks or just chill out under a tree. You also need positive influence from people who have a positive outlook in life. If there is a church nearby with a reach out or help program of some sort why not check it out? A church in my area help homeless, veterans as well as people who self harm. If you find one, consider talking to some of these people. Who knows they might be able to help you get your life better.

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