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Today is the day that I am supposed to re-self harm again on

LightShadow's picture
[3570]

Today is the day that I am supposed to re-self harm again on. I don't have a "blank" yet. I am debating and i am not sure what i am doing. I am visiting my aunts home this weekend. I can not do this yet but i want it more than the world around me. I am not a bad person in this world. Misunderstood by society

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LightShadow's picture
[3570]
Jan 25

I never suffered until June 24, 2017 until January 24, 2020. I am done with suffering and now I can start enduring the pain again. My apologies to you. I don't mean to be insensitive towards you because I wouldn't want to hurt you. My mind is More towards aggression than understanding. But i hold back inside. But honestly I will limit myself for you. I don't want to cause trouble. =)

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LightShadow's picture
[3570]
Jan 26

#1: By enduring the pain again. Means that I can go ready to go back into self harm again.

#2: sharing, i told my aunt tonight. I feel relieved and actually better now. But my self talk internally still suggests that I am going to return.

#3: i never had talked about the time when I breathe in a chemical at work. It made me more violent than ever before internally and i had too look at death like crazy. If i was to go back into SH. I will never be medicated because I am very very very very violent. I am good, but it wasn't as easy as self harm. SH is nothing to me anymore. I can blend in easily. But not nc yet

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LightShadow's picture
[3570]
Jan 26

@LightShadow but i really just want to sing. That is all i truly want to do. I go to work and I try, and nothing much. And a 3 hour ride is sad, so to return to SH is more of an incentive. =/ i had been very good with sh for 2 years and 2 months. What can go wrong again? I never felt so great in my life.

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