It's been 11 months since I've last cut myself, since summer

It's been 11 months since I've last cut myself, since summer not a day has gone by when I don't want to hurt myself and die. I have a great life, no complaints. Fighting off the urge to self harm is exhausting beyond explanation and I fear the day I might give up. Ironically, in September I was diagnosed with ITP, a condition where the spleen attacks the platelets of the blood, basically it causes your blood to stop clotting. I almost died. I don't think it's just a coincidence, we are psychologically and biologically connected, the messages I send to my body with my brain are literally killing me. So I need to stop my urges and self hatred, but am lost in the sea of my brain and emotions. How do I drop self harm when it's such a big part of my everyday life?

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 1
[64965]
Dec 8

Great job !! 11 months is impressive. Just figure out how to get around the problem on the mind. I clap to stop my mind. It has helped because I can hit hard or soft depending on the intensity of my mind. Just a suggestion instead of singing, shouting repeating lyrics.

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