I can't stop thinking about cutting, but I know it's wrong a

I can't stop thinking about cutting, but I know it's wrong and I'm afraid I won't be able to stop once I start. I thought if I wrote this it might take the thoughts away.

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Just try talking about it. I find that I use self harm as a release so if you can get everything out naturally it will be much better. Please don't start self harming everything that seems bad now will be a hundred times worse if you throw self harm in there

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[65]
Mar 19

@Dani_Kolo Thanks for responding. I'm not young, I'm married and things blew up again last night. I couldn't sleep all night and spent half the day sleeping and then trying to work things out with my husband. It's been tough for awhile. I'm dealing with severe childhood trauma and am in therapy and a difficult marriage and I have flashbacks and well, when my marriage blows up, it just gets unbearable. I don't know why I want to cut myself so badly. I took some advice I read online last night and drew all over myself with a pen. It helped somehow and I'm past that scary place now. Thanks for writing. I see my therapist on Wednesday. I just started seeing her and I lost my old one that I was seeing for quite awhile. That was like a safety net being pulled out from beneath me. He wasn't helping me and I know this new one is supposed to specialize in my problem with extreme ptsd and dissociation which is why I switched to her. It's pretty tough right now though. I haven't had this cutting urge for quite awhile and it's scary when it comes back. Thanks again.

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[65]
Mar 19

@Dystopianstrawberry Thanks for replying. I explained a little of my situation to the post above this one, so feel free to read that one. It did help just to write in and say what was going on. To admit what I wanted to do and it helped me to not do what I was thinking about doing. Thanks again.

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