* trigger warning (Mabey?)* I haven't self injured
* trigger warning (Mabey?)* I haven't self injured in 4 months but this week everything is coming crashing down. I skipped a whole week of school cause I can't even get myself out of bed. I feel numb and awful and nothing helps. Everything that usually makes me feel happy isn't working and I don't have anyone to talk to. I see a therapist and I'm even supposed to see her on Wednesday but I'm not sure how I'm going to make it to Wednesday. I haven't felt so close to suicide since November. Nothing makes me feel okay. I don't have any close friends to talk to and my family is a huge mess so my therapist is the only one I talk to but I don't know what to do for right now. I haven't left my house in a week. I just don't want to deal with anyone and it's killing me. I don't think I'm close enough to suicide to actually try it but it's all I can think about. It feels like I'm trapped and there's no way out. Sorry this is so long. If you made it to the end thanks for caring. I'm open to any advice for dealing with having to go to school tomorrow. : )
@Dystopianstrawberry you take as much space as you want or need to get things out, ok? no worries at all. I've read far longer posts. I also have social anxiety, and totally get it. how long until you are out of school? high school?
I have a suggestion. at school, leave the darkness out of things. when you find new people to talk to, keep it light. and come here and let that darkness out, talk about those aspects of you with us. talk to us, spend cybertime with us. we get those things. and talking through those things is why we are here. does that sound like a plan?
Yup and ya I'm still in high school. I hope stuff goes well for me tomorrow. If I'm being completely honest just posting this and having someone care enough to reply is starting to make me feel better. I also started on a baking tangent which is helping. So far I have cinnamon buns, Apple cake, and an obscene amount of gingersnaps. Working on sugar cookies that will be decorated obnoxiously.
that is wonderful! I cant bake at all, though I can cook. I am really happy you are feeling better :-) and very happy you found us. post as often as you want, write as much as you want, ok?