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I came here to seek impartial Advice fir my newly 18 yr old

I came here to seek impartial
Advice fir my newly 18 yr old. She has been on team for four years. Bc of some girl parent
Drama last year ( her junior year) the coach has been treating her differently. This year she has lacked confidence and desire to practice basically gave
Up! But bc of his words saying such things as “ dI don’t show up at tomorrow’s match because you’re not going to start anyways.” “You are not good enough to bowl” “ Thanks for coming even if you’re not gonna get to play”

She sat the second to last match crying and finally said she’s done. Her senior year. Packed up and left. The coach saw her upset looked right At her after match and walked away.

Last year bc all the drama she needed counseling for her self esteem. I allowed her again to join team fir her last year. I even “ forced” her to attend sectionals but I am leaving attending State to her in which she says she “ can’t sit there two days and never be allowed to participate.” The only way she can get playing time is if the starters perform
Badly but then again at
Sectionals a few
Did poorly and she never was put in.

Is it better to encourage her or force her into
Finishing or if she is mentally done let her walk
Away? We know people are going to call her a bad sport but it will do her more mental
Harm to be there firvtwondays and continue to be told she is not good enough.

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Justwanttobeloved's picture
[10745]
Feb 11

I'm can't imagine what your daughter must be going through. I'm appalled by the coach's blatant bullying. You didn't go into detail about what the "drama" was about, however, how the coach is handling the situation, sounds anything but professional.

You mentioned that your daughter is now in counseling for low self esteem. Although her esteem issue will take time, I hope that she continues with therapy. She'll be able to learn great coping skills along the way.

I'm a bit confused about your question. You forced her to attend sectionals, and said that it was you were leaving it up to her whether or not to attend state. She's expressed not only her wishes, but why. So I guess my question for you is why would you tell her that she has a choice if in the end your thinking of forcing her to go? And why exactly would she be called a bad sport? When was the last time she even got to play? Do any of her teammates support her? Does she consider any of them friends? My unbiased opinion would be to support your daughter in her decision not to go. If any of her teammates have something to say, she can simply state, "I hope that you all did well. I had my reasons for not going, of which I'm not getting into."

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[30]
Feb 12

Thank you. Sorry I was unclear. I encouraged her not forced her to go to Sectionals somshe changed her mind and went. But for State she absolutely told me she doesn’t want to attend. She is absolutely not friends with any of them afterctheybhave name called “ugly”, “‘team drama’girl”’” not a team player” in which the coach did absolutely NOTHING. She only played two games out of ten last week. She is afraid people will call her a bad sport if she quits but ...

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