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I came here to seek impartial Advice fir my newly 18 yr old

I came here to seek impartial
Advice fir my newly 18 yr old. She has been on team for four years. Bc of some girl parent
Drama last year ( her junior year) the coach has been treating her differently. This year she has lacked confidence and desire to practice basically gave
Up! But bc of his words saying such things as “ dI don’t show up at tomorrow’s match because you’re not going to start anyways.” “You are not good enough to bowl” “ Thanks for coming even if you’re not gonna get to play”

She sat the second to last match crying and finally said she’s done. Her senior year. Packed up and left. The coach saw her upset looked right At her after match and walked away.

Last year bc all the drama she needed counseling for her self esteem. I allowed her again to join team fir her last year. I even “ forced” her to attend sectionals but I am leaving attending State to her in which she says she “ can’t sit there two days and never be allowed to participate.” The only way she can get playing time is if the starters perform
Badly but then again at
Sectionals a few
Did poorly and she never was put in.

Is it better to encourage her or force her into
Finishing or if she is mentally done let her walk
Away? We know people are going to call her a bad sport but it will do her more mental
Harm to be there firvtwondays and continue to be told she is not good enough.

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 2
[4930]
Feb 11

I have been in your shoes over the tuff it out//quit issue...
As moms we want to protect them as much as possible. However I think we kind of just support them thru life and the consequences of their choices...
Example. My 16 year old and I butted heads when she was 7 yrs old about going to dance class. She would whine and I would either bribe or say she had to go... We've moved twice. Last year toured 8 dance studios. She didn't sign up. This year we toured and she decided on one. She knows it is important to finish what u start... But I didn't make her sign something that she would go no matter what. She enjoyed it in the beginning. She had fun performing at fall festival. After winter break she went once... She says the class is a little challenging for her...it is repetitive/boring.. And she hadn't made any friends...
Honestly I think my daughter should just suck it up and finish. We've talked about--have u asked teacher for extra help??(no). I can't "fix" the boring part! Lol. And what have you (my daughter) done to make friends? (Nothing really/says she is shy). Also before dance we talked and I reminded her she took dance 6 years ago "back home" and didn't really have friends at dance. Her friends came from neighborhood and school...

So ultimately irbid for them to decide. There's something good to being able tons knit up and tough it out in life even if you don't like something or it's not great Someday they will have a great perfect job and someone or something comes along...and why would u walk away from perfect job? Find a way to"fix" your issues.
I also told my daughter. I am far from perfect and made tons of mistakes in life...IF she quits dance/she is paying for missed classes costume etc... IF she quits dance -- life will give her another opportunity to be at this crossroads again

If your daughter is being bullied really badly --then that could be a good reason to quit. I don't know all the circumstances of her situation. It is best to get they stuff and hold our heads up but ultimately. It is what it is...
Hugs. Being a mom is great but not always easy. I hope your daughter knows what a great loving caring supportive mom u are!!!

So I told my daughter (and u can decide if any of this fits your situation)

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Ozzie's picture
[90]
Feb 11

I am not quite sure to what sport you are referring but sports are not supposed to be painful. They are supposed to be fun. If its making her miserable then whats the point of doing it?

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