I am so sick of struggling. I have literally ZERO self estee

I am so sick of struggling. I have literally ZERO self esteem and so many issues that Ive been dealing with since I met my current husband 7 years ago. I haven’t worked since 2015 and moved away from my college age kids two years because my husband got a job in another state. This has been extremely, extremely hard.

I don’t know exactly what topic to post under. I really think all the decisions I have made lead DIRECTLY back to anxiety and low self esteem. I can’t work because I have zero self confidence. I don’t trust my husband, in part because of thinking I am not good enough for someone to stay with me and not cheat on me and also because Ive caught him in lies. I truly feel like a healthy person would definitely be able to get past his lies but I can’t. This is my first post. I have so much going on that I haven’t spoken to anyone about. I don’t even know where to begin.

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andine's picture
(57480)
Apr 28

Healthy people would not tolerate hurtful lies. Groups like this are a great resource.

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(7165)
May 3

@Beachrules First let me say that you write well. That means you very likely speak well. The combination of those two suggests very strongly that you’re intelligent as well. And that is something you can feel good about.

The most effective way to start to build your self-esteem is to think good feeling thoughts. They can be any thoughts from your past, present or future that makes you feel happy, pleased, excited or satisfied.

If you start to have negative thoughts, stop them immediately and shift back to good feeling thoughts. Keep good feeling thoughts there throughout your day. Just before you go to sleep and as soon as you wake up find good feeling thoughts again.

As you continue that process, you will start to feel happy and peaceful. That will tell you that your efforts are paying off. And the more happy and peaceful you feel the more confident you will feel as well.

It’s a slow process but it will bring you a lot of satisfaction. As you gain self-esteem, you can start to think of any activity or skill you really feel good about and you would love to do either as a volunteer or in a work environment.

You’ll find you will naturally want to do something as your confidence improves. Just check in with your feelings and use them as your guide. They will always tell you the truth about whether you’re ready to take that step.

In fact, make it a habit to rely on your feelings to guide you in any decisions you make. It’s the most reliable way to know if you or someone else is being authentic. Also remember that thoughts can mislead you because they come mainly from the ego. So before you make a decision from your thoughts, check in with your feelings to see if they’re genuine. Hugs

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