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Hi all, i suffer from really low self esteen ( as all of u d

[305]

Hi all, i suffer from really low self esteen ( as all of u do i guess) i really hate myself, my body... and since my bf cheated on me it’s gotten to the point where i just wanna be gone... i hate feeling like this and really want to change my thinking to more positive and have a more pos self image but i have no idea how....

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[2055]
Mar 18

@Zea Hi and welcome to SG. GirlKitty is right about moving on with your life. When a partner cheats, its very hard to trust again and that will affect the relationship negatively. She is also correct that you are not responsible for his behavior. He has to own that and hopefully can get some help for himself to properly deal with what he has done. Others are making good suggestions for you to try and cope as well and Im sure they will be helpful.

Im going to tallk about an additional approach. What most people dont realize is that when they have low self-esteem and dwell on it they will attract circumstances into their life that will confirm their low self-esteem. The more they dwell on their low self-esteem the more circumstance they will attract. Without realizing it, their thoughts will keep them trapped in a negative cycle that never seems to end.

There is an alternative that you refer to in your post that will allow you to move beyond your low self-esteem. That is to shift your thinking into positive mode. To do that, create a list of all of your positive qualities. They might be qualities such as honesty, dependability, warm heartedness, humorous. etc. You can use the following link if you need help getting started

http://www.compatibilitycode.com/book-resources/personal-qualities-list/

Once you have your list, start to repeat it frequently during your day, immediately before you go to sleep and as soon as you wake up in the morning. If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, stop them immediately and shift back to your list of positive qualities. Repeat your list when youre in a good mood. You can get in a good mood by thinking of some event or circumstance that made you happy.

The way we develop our low self-esteem is that we continually think the same negative thoughts about our self until it becomes a habit and over time the habit becomes automatic. Once its automatic, we cant help but think about those same negative thoughts. It becomes who we believe we are.

In the same way, if we continually think positive thoughts about our self, we will develop a new habit that will also become automatic and we will not be able to help but think positive thoughts about our self. The new positive thoughts will replace the negative thoughts and become who we believe we are.
Once we are in that positive mode. we will no longer have any doubt about who we are. We simply know it for sure.

All of this may sound simple and it is simple. As you repeat your list frequently, you will not only shift your feelings about yourself but others will relate to you based on your new view of yourself. Thats because you will be sending out a new positive vibe about who you believe you are that others will pick up and respond to. The positive response of others will, in turn, confirm your new view of yourself. You will have completed the circle of shifting from low to high self- esteem.

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[305]
18 hours ago

@kgmaxwell thank you, i am trying to come up with a list of positive things but so far i have found two... i am working on it and trying to find things to put on the list coz i think u r right that our thoughts are what we become and i really hope i can change it....

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[2055]
4 hours ago

@ Zia Take your time coming up with your list. Use the link if you need to .Also think of qualities others have noticed about you. You will come up with additional ideas spontaneously as well.

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