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Today was the first day of my new job and I'm already stress

Griffin97's picture

Today was the first day of my new job and I'm already stressing myself out. I hate feeling like I don't know what I'm doing. I made a mistake and now I have stomach cramps. I'm always too hard on myself but I can't help it.

Elizar's picture
Oct 18

First off - congratulations on the new job! Especially during these times, that accomplishment is nothing to scoff at.

I totally understand where you're coming from in regards to being your own worst enemy/harshest critic. I worked in a government building for 8 years - received multiple promotions and raises - but up until the day I left, I found myself waiting for someone to come into my office and expose me for being a total fraud at my job. The constant tension, stress, and definitely takes a toll. There were quite a few times I had to basically run to the bathroom, wash my face, and do some self-talk in the mirror like "C'mon man! Keep it together!"

Sounds like you might have a combination of Imposter Syndrome & Spotlight Effect. But remember man, these guys hired you because they saw a person possessing the skillset necessary to get the job done. You are competent and you can do this! Mistakes every now and then are unavoidable by virtue of us just being human, so try not to be too hard on yourself - in fact, since you're new on the job, now's the best time to make mistakes and learn from them.

When you begin to doubt yourself or obsess over imperfections, those are the times when you really need to take a second and recollect yourself. I'm gonna guess you're holding yourself to a really high standard, but when things go bad I suggest you stop whatever it is you're doing, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and realize that the reason you're so stressed at the moment is because you're simply caring way too much.

You're already there, man. You got the job. You belong. Despite self-esteem issues, you've already accomplished so much. You can relax a little bit so long as you make it a point to recognize those times when your internal monologue becomes self-sabotaging.

You got this!

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Oct 18

@Elizar Welcome Elizar. What you wrote took my breath away with just validation compassion insight and bring objective and supportive! Just wow. So glad I are here
Griffin- Elizar really said it all. Hugs both of you

Elizar's picture
Oct 19

@NCMom I totally appreciate this! It was nerve-racking deciding whether or not to even post, but I'm glad I did. You take care and thanks again for the words of encouragement.


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