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Today was the worst at least with my dad he lets me wear wha

zellla's picture
[925]

Today was the worst at least with my dad he lets me wear what I want where as with my mum she makes me wear really girly things and that's not me. I wear jeans and a hoodie not dresses. She tried to make me get my arms out but I refused to because I have a load of cuts there still but she doesn't understand. She says I am beautiful and have a great figure when I don't because I am fat and she has to say that she is my mum. It really annoys me when the really thin people at school say they are fat for attention and to be told they are not, if you think your fat you don't go around saying it well at least I don't. I sit here and suffer in silence

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[1470]
May 7

This beautiful thing is a scam. The "not attractive" people get to feel bad about themselves because they never feel good enough. The "attractive" people get looked passed as if their looks are all that matters, they won the lotto and everyone knows it. And that is the most defining characteristic about them. And everyone in between? Everyone who is "average" gets to spend there time trying to catch up to someone "prettier" then they are. (Though I guess that applies to everyone as well)

It's a marketing scam, and its dehumanizing for everyone involved.
I felt objectified by my own family growing up, not in an inappropriate way, more like a pet who chews up the carpet because its going crazy from neglect.

People are just blind to other people a lot of the time, it has nothing to do with you. Your mother sounds like she may be trying to fit you into the image she wants for you, or she maybe be projecting an image onto you that she thinks would make her happy, and so she thinks it will make you happy. If only you would accept her "help". It is likely a combination of both, and probably comes from a place of caring. But it sounds like she doesn't want to face the problems you are going threw. Does she know you cut? Have you tried to talk to her about how you feel? Dose your mother struggle with weight at all? Maybe it is hard for her to relate to you that way.

I know how despairing it can be when it feels like the people meant to help you grow try to tell you not to be the person you are. They want to see the progress at the end and just assume you are ok. You are clearly not ok, and dressing up isn't going to help you unless it makes you feel more like yourself, which it clearly doesn't.

I spent a lot of time rebelling away from what my family wanted, and I don't regret it at all. What I do regret is that I let them teach me to neglect myself the same way they neglected me. Find the things that make you happy and learn how to set your own boundary. This can be very hard when you feel under the parental thumb, but how you interact with your family from a young age is really training you how to interact with people as an adult. And for me it has taken a lot of painful years to figure that out.

But you are already going in the right direction, you are here seeking help which is more than I did. Try to find people you want to be like. I think my biggest regret is that I had no real role models, I just tried to learn it all on my own. I've done pretty good but it could have been so much easier.

I broke down with my current SO a few months ago. I was feeling very self harmy and he said something nice, followed up with how I was the only person he wanted to be like. I broke into tears saying I had no one I wanted to be like. Don't wait 20 years to figure out who you want to be like, and its never too early to be a role model ether. Be the sort of change you want to see in the world and you can start to draw strength from yourself. <3 <3 <3 No body is going to love you like you can love yourself.

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[2145]
May 11

Cuts. I'm a grandma of a grandson who used to cut. Now he's in prison 4 felony drug distribution. Cutting is asking 4 help, as you know. Have either your mother or father noticed your cuts? Are they the cause of your cuts? Please talk to an adult with the authority to help you-school counselor, police, social worker, a neighbor who will call authorities. Let's find someone close enough to help you immediately.

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[12885]
May 16

I need to say something about what someone commented earlier. It is NOT suicide to ask for help. Maybe I took what they said wrong, but I had to take the whole night to calm down when I saw that. Even just coming to this website is like asking for help. I'm really sorry you have to deal with what you do. I don't know how to help. But asking for real help is good

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