I need help on how to deal with my father-in-law who I belie

[115]

I need help on how to deal with my father-in-law who I believe has paranoid schizophrenia. He has never been formally diagnosed as he does not believe he has a problem - because of this “non-problem”, he has destroyed his family, has no friends, has not worked in decades, and is fully dependent on my husband. Long story short - people are constantly following him, tapping his phone, breaking into his apartment (we pay for his apartment) just to mess with him and poison his water, his neighbours are all conspiring against him, etc. Have been unable to get him a proper diagnosis because he does not think he has a problem. His personal physician has recommended some medication that may help calm him down but he refuses to take them. He is such a drain on us, emotionally and financially - we are at our wits end. Can’t commit him because he’s not currently endangering anyone. He’s constantly bombarding my husband with frantic emails of people following and stalking him. The only thing we can do at this point is for poor husband to try to spend as much time with him as he calms down somewhat but this is obviously at a great expense at husbands own mental well-being and our marriage. I don’t know what to do ...

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[2815]
Feb 9

Inth8nk it’s time your husband sets some boundaries and refuses to be the one to stay until his father is calm. He’ll need to let his dad know that he is not going to do this for him all the time. His dad will have to make a choice, to get on some meds or find his own way to cope. It’s a really hard thing to do but if your husband doesn’t give some tough love, his dad will never make a change, he doesn’t need to because if your husband I’d taking care of everything then maybe he really can’t see the problem.

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[115]
Feb 13

Thanks mybeach - it is really difficult setting boundaries because FIL gets even more erratic and frantic when he feels like he’s not getting his way, much like a very spoilt child who throws tantrums. He absolutely refuses to deal with his problems because he doesn’t believe he’s in the wrong - hence, refuses medication, doctors, sleeping aids etc. He believes his neighbors are being noisy on purpose (they are not that bad) to aggravate him but refuses to use ear plugs or white noise machines because “they’re the problem” and not him. It’s a very fine balance we’re still trying to find but it’s so difficult when there is absolutely no cooperation ...

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