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So I've been seeing someone for 4~ months now. He was in a 7

[1180]

So I've been seeing someone for 4~ months now. He was in a 7 year relationship previously, they were married for 2 of those years and are now divorced. It is completely understandable that after that long in a relationship that just kind of got progressively worse, he doesn't want to jump into another relationship. I totally get it. But I think that the fact he can't commit, has kind of turned me off to him. I think he's great. He's done nothing wrong (I've really been put through the ringer with dating). I just feel like my anxiety has kind of put a hold on my feelings. Like, I'm not letting myself feel too much because nothing is guaranteed, and it is not a secure situation. I have found myself disassociating and feeling totally out of it. I just want to know if anyone else goes through this. This isn't a typical dating situation, but feeling detached and sometimes disinterested, even though I know I do want to be with him, has me struggling. My therapist says it's a defense mechanism, I've spoken to someone else who says feelings ebb and flow. I just wish I was feeling more? But maybe putting pressure on myself to be feeling fireworks 24/7 is also wrong, because life isn't perfect like that. I know this is all a jumble of words but any input is appreciated. He isn't someone I want to lose.

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Panda2020's picture
[855]
Mar 13

Loving vibes can't be forced...
It's just psychological, when you love someone your mind would react involuntary and you will know it...

Don't force yourself to love someone , you might end up in a struggling relationship... Which is not healthy

The reason you are feeling this way...its just you being scared of being of not being loved or end being lonely..

Maybe cause of you like the kind of company, you guys got and to sustain this you have to be emitting loving gestures

Don't force it... Let it ride
Thank you

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[1180]
Mar 13

So you think it's okay to just go with it? That's what ive been doing. I really like what we're doing and spending time with him. I just don't want to end it.

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Panda2020's picture
[855]
Mar 13

Yeah just flow

Reply

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