So I just confronted my boyfriend bc he hasn't been helping

So I just confronted my boyfriend bc he hasn't been helping financially. We got are new apartment and he saying I need to give him time. Which he had 2 months to save.. He keeps giving me that sad excuse that he going through things and be patient. At this point I almost don't have nothing. Helping him so much. Just so overwhelmed.

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(4095)
Nov 24

@NCMom I'm 27 he 23 . We been together for a year. Living together for 5 months now...We was long distance at first... He had jobs through out the time... Then he and my family kept begging me to move in with him... Since I be closer to them...So I did. He started to get unemployment when I move in. I was hesitant. But he was paying most the bills. And I would also help too. Now that he doesn't get unemployment he doesn't want to do anything. He says he looking for a job but it's always excuses. Also his mom helps support him too. And she expects me to take care of him." Bc when I first moved in he was paying for most of anything. "But I was helping to.. So he putting that in my face. When we agreed who pays what., I understand u should help your partner but i don't have money to support both of us as of right now. He thinks I'm just being selfish. I told him he needs to grow up. His mom doesn't make it no better either. The only time she talks to me if it benefits her son. Then they always try to make me feel like I'm crazy when I stand up for myself.

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(26350)
Nov 25

@Blueflower23. You are not crazy. Plus things change He is an adult. He is responsible for himself. If you move out (which only you can decide where you want to live etc) he will be solely responsible for all of his bills unless he finds someone else to move in and support him. If he has a career (like marine biologist) and there’s no jobs in his field at the moment; then he needs to take something (maybe retail or fast food etc) that brings some $$$ in while he’s looking for his dream job.
No need to argue with him about how much $$ you have and how much he pays etc
It doesn’t sound like a relationship that is making you happy. You deserve to be happy.
If you are not happy, you can simply say it’s not working out and move out.
Do you have someplace where you can go?
Everyone has choices. You can choose to
Accept things the way they are
OR
Leave
OR
Cope with it and try to fix or change it
Idk if you can express your feelings and get him to get a job or not
But you have to decide what’s right for you…as long as you are both adults , you don’t owe him anything and go what’s right for you snd don’t let those people make you feel badly
Hugs

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Littleturtle1000's picture

@Blueflower23 The situation won't get any better because of the dynamics of his relationship with his mother she enables him to be a poor baby so it will not change. You may care about him alot but his mother will always cause problems and hurt feelings. Find a way to end your stress and worry there's only one solution because there's no talking to those two, he's only 23 and very immature because of his mother. Let her take him back home and let her deal with it. She shouldn't even be in your relationship business anyway.

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