This week's Brilliant New Topic: It is Thanksgiving next week y'all, where has the year gone???
November 19th, 2020


So first I want to apologize in advance bc I know this is go

So first I want to apologize in advance bc I know this is going to be long, I just have a lot to vent.

Two years ago, I had a crush on a girl named Sydney. After a few weeks to a few months, she started treated me poorly. I had began to develop an obsession with her which soon turned into depression. She was always on my mind, and I hated it. After awhile I realized that I actually enjoyed every moment I spent away from her. I tried so hard to remove myself from her life, but even though I knew how poorly she treated me, it was still a difficult thing to do.

Last year I fell in love with another girl named Anna. She treated me well, and everything went smoothly. The reason I decided to remove myself from her life was bc it wasn’t going anywhere. I was afraid to tell her how I felt, and I couldn’t just sit there hoping she’d tell me she loved me when I knew she probably didn’t.

This year I developed a crush on another girl named Anna K. (I know it sounds weird, developing feelings for all these girls in such a short time, but I can’t help how I feel.) I’ve never met anyone like her before. She is the most kindhearted person I’ve ever met. I’ve never met anyone with a purer soul than her. She makes it so easy to be myself, and she makes it easy for me to WANT to be myself. I’ve never been more comfortably myself around anyone else before. I was always so afraid to laugh and talk in front of people, and God forbid it be in a quiet area, bc I felt like they were judging me. But when I’m with her, I don’t care about anyone else. You can judge me all you want but I’m not gonna let it get to me bc I’m not gonna let my insecurities control me anymore. The thing about her though is that she’s always on my mind, and although that doesn’t sound like a bad thing, sometimes I want time to myself. I feel like an obsession is developing, and I’m scared the same thing is gonna happen that happened two years ago. I’ve finally found someone worth fighting for, and I don’t want to let myself succumb to that obsession. I like it when she’s on my mind, but I also want to this to remain as a healthy crush. I like to write, so when I find myself falling into that trap, I tend to write things down or just talk to myself about it to calm me down so I can relax. I don’t want the same thing to happen again, and I’m so afraid that it might, and I keep taking a few steps back just to visualize everything. I really like this girl. We have so much in common, and we talk all the time, and above all she makes me feel alive in a way that I’ve never felt before. That it’s just’s just her...and no one else. I really want to try to make this work this time.

Do you think it’s worth it? Do you think I’m an idiot?...Do you think I’m a fool?

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Nov 23

Yes, no and no.

luna1994's picture
Nov 23

its up to you but be mindful if she doesn't feel the same way


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