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My story is told about a week ago and I'm still feeling a li

My story was told about a week ago and I'm still feeling a little down about missing my girlfriend. I've been doing good last week or so but today I'm feeling like I'm missing a piece of myself again. I've talked with her a few times about our situation and she said that she's giving us this space for us so we can grow and respect each other. She just wants me to focus on fixing myself so I can become a better family man, which she is right. I need to become a better family man for her and our daughter but this space is killing me. I miss her so much. I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing by finding a stable job and hopefully save some money.

I'm afraid that once I accomplish what I set out to do, that she'll finally leave me, even though I think in my heart that she doesn't want to give up on us. She even told me that I shouldn't give up. I told her that I don't want to give up on us and I don't want to give up on myself. She told me that she's happy to hear that. I just don't want to overthink things and look too far into things as well. I know she misses me, I know it's hard for her too with me not being there. I'm just missing her like crazy. I just want to be home and be with my family. I did accept a job at Bel Air/Raley's and I did have 2 interviews at Tesla which went really well. I really want this Tesla job cuz it's closer to home and it pays really well. Plus it will show her that I'm serious and willing to sacrifice anything to support my family. I texted her good morning and told her to have a good day.

I just need someone to talk to as I'm feeling quite lonely.

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[535]
Aug 22

@LivingOnAPrayer Well I am Type 1 since I was 19(I’m 37 now) so I am insulin dependent but since I’ve been lifting weights and running my blood sugar is been pretty good. Plus I’ve been dieting and eating better.

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[535]
Aug 23

I’ve just been in some of my deep thoughts and I’m beginning to think my girlfriend is pulling away from me. I don’t want to be away from home too long where she feels like we’re drifting apart.

I may just be overthinking things which I sometimes do but that is my biggest fear: she wants to pull away when I’m trying to bring us back together. I know I can’t force her or anything to be together but I’m trying to make things right even though in the past I was given chances to change.

The reason why I feel this way is when I try to talk with her through text I don’t get a reply back at all or I just get a short text. It just gets me down. I know she may be just busy at work and doesn’t have time but when she’s at home she can talk with me. Sometime our daughter has her phone but I know that she sees that I’m trying to reach out and let her know I still care. But sometimes I get nothing.

I just hope that she knows I’m working hard to improve and I know she wants to see it for herself instead of me just saying the things she wants to hear. I mean if she really wanted to end things like I said my stuff would all be out my house. I’m just hoping that she still wants to work things out but wants to make sure I’m promising her that I’ve changed and willing to work hard for us. I’m so willing and I do want us to have a future.

I just feel dumb that it took me this long. I don’t want it to end. I want us to be closer than ever and I will do anything to make it happen.

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[535]
Aug 23

Update: In the last few weeks despite my relationship situation, I also have a family situation as well. I won’t go into the details but something really bad has happened due to a family member doing something illegal and dishonest. My family is really well known where I live and this family member may go to jail due to their actions. All the local news channels have covered the story and now our name is being pulled through the mud even though we all did not know what this family member was doing. People who live in our area are asking questions to my family and causing heart break and stress.

One of my family members went on the news today to talk about this and has used our family name on a way that wasn’t bad but can still be so construed as bad.

I’m hoping that this does not hurt me for my job at Tesla. I would really hate for that to happen all because of my name and association with my family member. I had nothing to do what they did not had I had any idea what they were doing.

I pray that doesn’t affect me in any way cuz of the stupid actions of my family members.

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