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My bf and I have been together for about a year now and I'm

My bf and I have been together for about a year now and I'm having some struggles. It's a long distance relationship but we're trying to make it work.

At times it seems he's overly obsessed because all he wants to do is talk to me all the time. I don't want to be rude but I just don't feel like talking to him some days because it's exhausting. We talk about the same stuff every day and it's really old now. He doesn't do anything outside of work and literally waits by the phone for me to call him every day. I feel bad if I don't call though.

The 2nd think is that I'm soooo irritated with things he does, but I don't want to change him. He's relatively older than me but has literally zero life experiences so he can't relate to anything I'm talking about. He's 35 and he's never even heard of Chipotle or Family Feud....it's really weird to me and it actually frustrates me because it seems like almost everyone knows what those are but he's so sheltered.

I realize I'm probably just irritable but I don't know what to do. We've talked about how we're different, but we care about each other so we want to make it work. Unfortunately I'm getting more irritated and less invested as time goes on and I don't know what to do. Any advice?

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[370]
Aug 13

@Oneseedatatime
Thank you for those questions to think about. Yes, I actually know this person. We are from the same town and dated for a little bit before I had to move for job relocation.

I do want him in my life but he also has self esteem problems and is often depressed and overwhelmed with anxiety. He has told me he isn't happy with himself. It's difficult to be in a long term and long distance relationship with someone who is in a constant rut and just brings my mood down every time we talk. That's mostly why I'm not exactly thrilled to talk to him every day. I want to be understanding of his mental health but he doesn't want to get any help so we're kind of stuck.

I know for a fact that he doesn't cheat on me, which i am very grateful for. He has major social anxiety and doesn't get out or have any social media, so there's not really a possibility of cheating anyways. This is the first time I've been in a relationship where I haven't been in constant worry of cheating. Therefore I'm trying to think if that is enough to keep me invested. I want to be happy with him but most days it's just not that way.

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[10170]
Aug 13

OK, I am blunt, But why are you trying so hard to stay in a long distance relationship with someone you obviously don't seem to like?

"...brings my mood down every time we talk."

"I just don't feel like talking to him some days because it's exhausting."

"He's relatively older than me but has literally zero life experiences so he can't relate to anything I'm talking about"

"I want to be happy with him but most days it's just not that way."

Y'all are not married, and you don't seem to care about him that much. So why are your trying to work it out; just because he's not cheating?

And just because you think he's not cheating, doesn't mean he's not. In my experience the ones like him that are depressed and slightly obsessed, are the ones also cheating.

You are not in a healthy relationship if your are only staying because you feel like he's not cheating.

You don't seem to like him, and it is better to look for someone you can have a healthy relationship with instead of trying to clinging onto something that obviously is not working.

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[370]
Aug 13

@phdchick Thanks for your reply. I have thought about those things as well. I haven't gotten anyone else's perspective on this up until I posted on here, so I wanted to see what others would do in this situation. I appreciate your honesty.

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