Just broke up with my bf of one year. After he broke my trus

Just broke up with my bf of one year. After he broke my trust, I tried my best to start over but I had a feeling he wasn’t being honest. I started doing things I don’t normally do. Found information that he got a girl pregnant and was talking to other girls. After a breakup, getting back together, a miscarriage, losing my grandmother I’ve decided to choose myself. BUT why is it so hard? I want so badly to call him. I know o shouldn’t because he messed up and won’t admit his wrongdoing. I know I’m too good and hell forever take m for granted, but knowing this doesn’t make it any easy. Any suggestions about how to get through a breakup would be appreciated, because it’s a lot.

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(530)
May 4

I don't know where your faith is but I personally know that my relationship with Jesus is first and foremost. He is my strength and keeps me from entering into horrible relationships. If I take my focus off of Him everything falls apart. Every other relationship is secondary. I love what this author wrote - Jesus can heal the heart that people broke. He can exchange the pain for peace, hurt for healing, and rejection for redemption. There is no heart so broken that Jesus cannot fix it. There is no life so shattered that He cannot restore it. There is no pain too great that He cannot turn into joy. You may have experienced great hurt, but from this moment forward don’t glorify the pain. Instead, magnify the Savior. Jesus gave His life to set us free from everything that could hold us back. We can walk confidently, knowing we can overcome any obstacle that heads our way, by Leading and Loving it. Gotquestions.org

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(205)
May 4

I'm in the same situation. Trying to get over a break up with a man who lied to me. Turns out he had a girl pregnant when we met and they had a child that I didn't know about. When I found out, I confronted him and he blocked me so that we wouldn't have to talk about it. I'd say it's normal to miss him and feel like you need to call or text. There's nothing wrong with that. Don't judge your feelings. But also understand that having a feeling doesn't mean that you have to act on it. It's definitely great that you're choosing to put yourself first. That's going to be a process that takes time and won’t necessarily be linear. Some days you'll feel great and other days you'll feel like succumbing to old patterns. Sometimes what helps with closure is to ask yourself what you need to tell him before you move on. Then you can tell him or if you've cut off contact, write it down on a piece of paper and then burn it and release him. Take all the time you need.

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(7195)
May 5

@NAlex I’m sorry that you’re having to go through that. A breakup is so hard because we form an attachment to our partner and we also form expectations. A basic expectation we have is for our partner to be faithful and for them to show us their love for us in different ways.

So you made a very big emotional investment in him and it will take time to let go of that investment. And the only way to do that is to move through it a day at a time. It will get better. In the meantime, it will help if you see a therapist to support you as you go through this.

It’s important to feel all of the feelings you have (good and bad) and to process them. The outcome is so important. You should be able to recognize and accept your part in it and let go of any negative feelings about him.

Then you can come out of it feeling good about you and you can move on with your life. And if you decide to consider another relationship, you will be able to give yourself fully to it. Although it’s hard, contacting him will only delay being able to shift your feelings away from him and on to a better life for you.

When someone cannot admit their wrongdoing it means they are not open to changing themselves. He has shown you that he intends to place his pleasure ahead of you, and that is not what relationships are about and not what you want. Let him live with the consequences of his actions. Hugs

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