Newest Blog is out, Remember, You Matter Too!!!
Make sure to click READ MORE to see the full article. -SG
https://www.supportgroups.com/blog/remember-you-matter-too or click BLOG on the GREEN menu bar

Its been 4 months since my boyfriend of 8 years said he was

archaicinsane's picture
[1335]

Its been 4 months since my boyfriend of 8 years said he was losing feelings for me and 3 months since he broke up with me and revealed he was talking with someone else. A month and a half since i moved out. 33 days since i had any contact with him and i just couldnt take it anymore so i tried to reach out and make it seem like i was doing fine. I also really wanted to see how our remaining living cat was. Our conversation was about 3 text messages each. His replies were always 3 hours apart. He told me she was more needy than she had been and asked me how our ferrets were as one of them he was very attached to and had gotten sick a year ago with a pancreatic illness. The texts were brief. I ended the conversation by telling him that it was nice to hear from him and he responded with the same but it was like we were strangers. After 8 years he told me he didnt love me anymore but i still did and still do. I feel like i was taken for granted and i really want him to apologise to me and feel that he made the wrong decision but obviously i cant force that or even make mention of it at this point because he made his choice and it was not me. Im really struggling with feeling abandoned and wanting to fix something that the other person has no intrest in fixing and no way to take any steps that would make this any better.

show more ⇓
Comment
 10
View 7 More Comments
archaicinsane's picture
[1335]
Jun 21

Maybe i should go no contact a 2nd time? I still in my heart even though im mad and hurt want to sit down, talk about what happened and move on with our relationship in a positive manner where we have both learned from this expirience but i cant initiate that on my own.

Reply
archaicinsane's picture
[1335]
Jun 23

Today was so strange. I had the day off and no plans and for some reason got an idea to go walk around somewhere so i got in the car and ended up driving to the cemetary where his grandmother is buried. I pulled in and walked to it and sat down in the grass and right at that moment he texted me. I hadnt heard from him in quite some time and he had wanted to tell me he moved out of our old apartment and if there was any balence that was owed in utilities from after i moved out but while he was still there, he wanted to pay me for it. I told him i was busy at the moment but i would look into it. Thats when i maybe did something stupid, i told him where i was and that i had decided to spend some time at her gravesite and sent him a picture of it and suggested he stop by to visit her as well. He said he couldnt because he was out of town with family. I just told him be safe and i would talk to him another time. He told me to have a good evening and we ended the conversation. Part of me is afraid i appear as a "crazy ex girlfriend" visiting his grandmothers grave 4 months after breaking up but at the same time it wasnt unusual in the past for me to go there if i was feeling particularly upset. Not really sure what to feel but his response seemed casual. I hope i didnt mess things up further

show more ⇓
Reply
[11050]
Jun 24

@archaicinsane Hi. That is very sweet of u to visit his grandmother and odd coincidence that he texted you! It just takes time to recover. Compartmentalizing helps some people...having that balance of happy good stuff for you and also some sad reflective time to grieve the relationship. I know u wrote that you want to talk and process this with him and get closure u need and want... This will sound strange---can u do the talking and closure without him??? Imagine what he would say or how u want him to say it? The thing is. He is young and not ready for forever...(IMHO). Maybe he's scared Most men like to chase. Not to be the one who is chased!
I hope u have some fun stuff planned with your family and friends to get u thru the week and weekend. U deserve happiness. Big hugs. Know in your heart it will get better

Reply

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account