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I was told being newlyweds is hard but I didnt imagine it be

Slsharpley97's picture
[355]

I was told being newlyweds is hard but I didnt imagine it being this hard. We got married in February and then the pandemic hit. Both are jobs were gone and the honeymoon canceled. We have been home together for two months and to add on top my granddad just passed away. I stay busy with house work and job hunting but my husband just stays on his computer all day. It's not that I'm tired of him, it's that i miss the old us. Being excited to see each other after work, getting dressed up for each other, simply wanting each other. But now i have to beg and plead for attention only three months in. I can help but feel he doesn't want me anymore or at least doesnt appreciate me anymore. I called him out on it the other night and he just stares blankly like a dear in the headlights. It might be the pandemic talking but I cant help but feel that I am dancing alone to a dance I'm suppose to have a partner with. Do I keep fighting for the five minutes of attention I can get in a day or stop and let him take the time to realize he is missing out on an amazing women who just wants his attention? Thanks for letting me share. I've been feeling this way for a few weeks now.

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Slsharpley97's picture
[355]
May 27

Hes playing games and streaming for 10+ hours a day. I've tried playing games with him, setting up at home date nights, card game nights and he wants nothing to do with any of it. I talked to him the other day about all this and I havent scene a change in anything. I love him to death but what if hes not willing to change any habits?

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Griz75's picture
[40235]
May 27

@Slsharpley97 He has to be willing to see his issues and change, the harder part is waiting and thinking he will change. It is not an easy spot to be in. I am currently having a similar experiences going on in my life. it is not easy to suggest and wait for changes.

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LivingOnAPrayer's picture
[9930]
May 27

@Slsharpley97 I was in a similar situation in my first marriage. My husband was great in the beginning, and then he started playing video games and sitting on the computer on message boards for all his waking hours. He didn't work for most of the time we were together because he felt most jobs were beneath him since he tested at genius level on an IQ test once. The neglect and loneliness hurt more than I could bear at times. Yet I still loved him, almost until the end when it was clear we didn't belong together. My current husband was great in the beginning too but I came to realize he's a narcissist (which is a whole different story). I hope that you and your husband can talk and connect somehow. You love him a lot so it's worth fighting for. If you wrote him a letter and asked him to read it, do you think that would hit home? Continue trying to do things together like games and date nights. Hopefully he'll see how important he is to you and that connecting somehow is what you really need right now. If you ever want to talk, I'm here also!

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