This week's Topic: Giving yourself permission to be imperfect!!!

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I have written here several months ago. I have a lifetime be

I have written here several months ago. I have a lifetime best friend who over the past over two years has accused me of not supporting her and of not being the good friend that she is. A couple of times over the last two years, she has become very angry with me and pulled away for a little while and then called me. About four months ago, she had called me that her elderly pet was quite ill and she was worried that her pet was going to die. I spoke to her twice that day about the situation, and that afternoon she went away and I was packing to go away on a little vacation. I called her the next day and for the next two days after that, but she didn't pick up the phone. On the third day, she answered and was extremely upset with me, because I hadn't called her on the night that I was packing(the same day that I had spoken to her twice) as that was when her pet had died. I asked her why she hadn't called me, and she told me that she was too upset and the following days, she was too angry with me to answer the phone. Because our friendship had made me so anxious, I have pulled away, and now we just have occasional e-mails. She has agreed to go with me to see a counselor for a few sessions, and so far we have gone once. The problem I have, is that over the last four months, I have realized that there have been crossing of boundaries continually over the last several years, and that finally without this contact, I have learned that I want the balance in my life with her, and not the continued contact that has been going on forever prior to the break. For someone who has been my best friend, I don't know how it will go with my need for balance and boundaries in the relationship. She had already told the counselor that she had felt me pulling away and that had caused her to become more needy. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

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Jan 15

I love what you said froggymom. I think for the first time in two years, when I went to see the first counselor and she told me to tell my friend how I felt, it was the start of me starting to work on myself. I will keep working on that goal. Thank you so much.

Jan 20

Many hugs and positive energy.

Jan 21

A friend referred me to the book,"Stop Walking on Eggshells." It's so helpful to have a book where one can receive advice from someone who has been there. Thank you.


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