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I found my marriage challenging on a daily basis, we are dif

I found my marriage challenging on a daily basis, we are different characters and I find it hard. I wish my husband would just desire me! or want me all he wants to do is go to bed everyday its depressing....

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zen-man's picture
May 16

You do deserve more from your marriage, and your reactions do seem normal for your situation.

LadyO's picture
May 16

I can feel the sadness and loneliness in your words. It's easy to understand why you experience the emptiness and a longing for something deeper. People go into a marriage expecting and anticipating many different things, and when that fulfillment doesn't happen, it puts a wedge in between the couple that is sometimes hard to remove. God made marriage to be a satisfying and meaningful relationship, and sadly, that can't happen without healthy communication. I know you have tried to be open and it has backfired. I would be interested to know if your marriage is rewarding to him in any way. Sometimes men have different expectations and goals, and feel comfortable with little to no involvement and interaction with their wives. Is it possible that he is content?

Trying to be optimistic in a loveless marriage is exhausting and can make you feel trapped. One option I can think of for you is to take some time nurturing yourself as a woman, and a person. By that I mean, pay attention to your own personal interests, and find meaning doing things you like to do. I know it won't take the place of finding satisfaction from your marriage, but it will direct your attention onto something that can give you purpose. Do you like to draw? Pant? Write in a journal? Do gardening? Volunteer work? Do have have acquaintances near your home so you can enjoy casual friendships?

Would you ever feel comfortable contacting a pastor of a Bible believing church? Just to have someone who will listen and understand your situation? I know you will feel better unloading your story to someone who can share advice and help you find hope. Please don't remain isolated and cope with this all by yourself. Don't be afraid to lean on someone you can trust, and get the support you need to keep moving forward. Until your husband decides he wants a change in your relationship, it might be up to you to find other options for keeping yourself emotionally healthy. Do you pray? Ask God to help you. He is on your side and can wants to direct you and lead you. I promise to be praying for you too. Don't hesitate to message me if you'd like to talk more.

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May 18

thank you, I do keep myself busy, I write short stories, do zumba work and socialise so I can appreciate what you are saying. I doubt he is happy in the relationship, I have a short temper as I was unwell as couple of years back so have a short fuse, he is very sensitive man so takes things to heart. It is frustrating as I feel a stronger person would have been better for me, and I get angry with the way he reacts over the situations. Its a vicious cycle for us both, I do pray everyday for guidance and help with this matter, I do feel sometimes its a one sided relationship with him but I feel helpless in changing the situation. thank you for listening.


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