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I don't know where to start. In December, my mom went to the

I don't know where to start. In December, my mom went to the hospital because she has so many medical problems and we just wanted to figure out what was going on. She was in and out of the hospital up until last month and it was an emotional rollercoaster not knowing if she was going to make it. Now she's home and it's like she can't go five minutes without getting mad at someone for absolutely no reason. She particularly likes to pick on me for things in the past or just things she doesn't like about me. For example, I'm transferring to a 4-year university in the fall and I'm planning on moving into an apartment with my friends and whenever she gets upset she decides to bring it up and use that situation as a way to hold it against me and says "why don't you just move out now?" or if I'm on the phone with my best friend, she'll get mad at me and say "why don't you just live with her and her family since you prefer them anyway?" In no way have I ever said that I prefer another family over my own, and there's nothing wrong with talking to my best friend. While she was in the hospital, it was like I became the parent in my family because my mom wasn't here and my dad was either with her at the hospital or working from the early morning until late at night. I have to drive my brother and sister everywhere and my dad likes to use the fact that I have a license and a car as a way to get out of doing anything parental related and that he's "done with responsibility" since we're all older (my siblings are both 16, I'm almost 20). I just don't know what to do anymore because my dad spends most of the time out of the house to avoid my mom's wrath and by extension she uses me as a punching bag. I don't know what's going on with her but I feel like I've had to take care of everyone and no one seems to want to care about me in return. I've tried seeing one of my college's therapists and I'm trying to see one closer to home, but every time it gets brought up my mom makes me feel bad for seeing one at all and just trying to get the help I need when I can't get it at home from my own parents.

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Apr 17

The fact is: you are the only adult in your family. That's why your mother is so jealous when you talk to your friend. It was too late whe l realised that emotionally l am the mother for my insane mother (but everybody used to call me a child because financially l was helpless). The only thing you need to know is that you are not responsible for your parents.

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