I am so broken. My husband and ate fight all the time! We go

I am so broken. My husband and I fight all the time! We go like a week or so fine and then something triggers us and we don’t even know how to fight anymore. It’s gotten extremely verbal and occasionally, physical. Now we stopped taking for 4 days now. He totally ignores me all day. Will walk the other direction when I’m near and this is killing me inside. We’ve been married for 17yrs. 3 kids and trust was broken 4 yrs ago because of his wondering eye on social media and porn and I can’t take that! He’s stopped (supposedly) but ever since that day, our fights are always explosive! We’re even seeing a therapist together but yesterday during our session he starts screaming at me and yelling that it’s over and he’s done and doesn’t want to be with me anymore. This loneliness is killing me. I try to keep busy but I feel so freakin neglected, it’s bad. I almost want to go beg for him back and I feel like I do that too much when we fight so I’m trying to stay strong and give him a piece of his own medicine. Now, of course I wonder if he’s doing stuff behind my back and since we’re not speaking, I’ll never know. He did ask me 2 days ago if I wanted to have sex and not talk about the fight...what an a**hole! I told him nope not until we get this fixed. It’s been a long week without sex but I’m so angry with him I’m more fearful he’s doing something, that I can’t even think about being intimate with him. What sucks is as soon as he wants to talk, I’ll be like an open book. I really need help! Thoughts?

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(380)
Feb 25

Big hugs coming your way! First, you are not alone and there are many others that have been through it. There is hope and help for your marriage. God knows exactly what you are going through and wants you to keep persevering. We can't do it on our own though https://bit.ly/3dPYJZU

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Rdan's picture
(13610)
Feb 25

Have you considered hitting the reset button?
When it goes completely south, so bad there's nothing you can do. Ask the question "do you love me?"
He'll likely look at you and answer "yes".
At that point don't talk - just hold him.
There will a reason you got together in the first place and it's still there.
One day you'll have to bury him - or he you. And you are not going to be able to justify treating the other harshly.
If he was going to cheat he would have. You say he looked.
I tell my wife it all looks good. But I picked my flower from the garden - and though the flowers look lovely they are not my flower.
I have seen my wife at death's door four times. Death has a way of pinpointing what's
important. Your children are learning how to be married from you two - teach them. You still have an oopportunity to teach them how to overcome. What you do not overcome this generation will show up in the next - you're forming your grandkids.
Do you love me?
That's all there really is.
Don't fight about this. Don't you know heart attacks, breast cancer, death looms on the horizon. You're going to need each other.

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Rdan's picture
(13610)
Mar 2

Checking in! I've been bedside with my wife since Friday. I just finished organizing some material the could help you. I supported you. If you support me I can private message you contact information. I hope this note finds you well.

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