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I am getting depressed in my marriage. My husband quit his j

I am getting depressed in my marriage. My husband quit his job 11 months ago. He hasn't bothered to really look for work - he's had two job interviews, neither paid enough money. I guess earning $0 is better than earning something.

I've applied for jobs for him. He spends my money. He's going on his 4th vacation this year with friends. I told him I wasn't paying for it. He now asks why am I being so hard, why did I change.

Well, maybe if he'd get off the f#$ couch and get a job, maybe if he'd stop staying up until 4-5 am and sleeping until 3-4 in the afternoon. Maybe if he'd change the light bulbs in the living room during the hours he spends on the couch watching TV...maybe if he wouldn't leave plates of uneaten food in the living room and help me more around the house, I wouldn't get upset.

I almost cried this morning. I was rushing off to work, but as I passed through the kitchen, I saw the oven door left open, the tray of food he'd reheated with the chicken carcas still on it. He made a mess. I wanted to take a photo and paste it. The mess just said "I don't respect you."

I am glad he's going away for 6 days with friends. It will give me a chance to decide what I want.

Am I too harsh? What can I do? Now I feel bad for complaining he doesn't work and just goes out with friends.

I work fulltime. I am also starting a part-time business. I am expected to clean the house, do the laundry (he throws a hissy fit if I don't wash his clothes in a timely manner). IF he wants something clean, he will stick that one thing in the washing machine! How can he not think to do a full load?

Why do I have to do all the work, wear the pants, then feel "romantic" when he is turned on. My smiles are fake. I am so unhappy. He is really nice when he wants something.

Maybe I should be happy he's going on vacation with his friends for 6 days.

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Jedwardscoach's picture
[1305]
Jun 13

You are in a very tough situation. Feeling unapprecisted and taken advantage of is a miserable way to live. Have you discussed this with him in an open and honest conversation? Sometimes we feel so overwhelmed that we forget to just ask for what we want. If you have and he still hasn't made any attempt, would you consider seeing a professional?

Just a couple thoughts to help you determine what to do next. Good luck and let me know if I can help in any way.

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[9780]
Jun 13

Hon only you can stop this, this man seems that he has quit on you and now it’s time to stop his behavior. If he wishes to act like a man child you treat him like one first all your money is yours get your own account and keep his sorry butt out of it two eat out I know it’s exspensive but no food in the House means no messes to clean up just you eat out though and 3 don’t do his laundry tell him if his sorry little butt does not want to work that he is going to have to be the homemaker in the relationship hon you gotta stand up for yourself cause your little boy there needs a whoopin. My god if my ex might of held a job and cleaned the house did all that that you do I may have actually been upset about losing her lol. You deserve better and you should act on it.

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[9780]
Jun 13

@1emptysoul and besides hon marrying someone who quits on life and you does not make you stupid it makes them stupid there is no shame in packing their crap and telling them goodbye because he vowed to love, and honor you what he is doing does not sound very honorable does it

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