I am feeling very lost and defeated. Last week I was disagno

I am feeling very lost and defeated. Last week I was disagnosed with HPV. I am a 19 year old girl and all I've ever wanted was to love and to be loved. I have not had the best experience with any relationships.. I just seem to always pick the wrong ones. Whether its getting cheated on, used, taken advantage of, abuse; you name it, I've probably been through it. However, a month ago I met a guy that swept me off my feet. We aren't in a committed relationship yet but we are in the "talking stage" and we spend almost every weekend we can together. Things have been so perfect with him and I want to continue things with him but now I have HPV... what do I do. Did he give it to me? Will he leave me if I tell him? Do I tell him? Will I ever feel normal again? So many questions have been racing in my head and many, many sleepless nights and tears have been shed. I have a constant anxiety over me and I really don't know where I go from here. With today's generation and with my past experiences from men, I feel like if I don't have sex with him, he will leave me or get bored. This was supposed to be a good summer.. and I feel like I have finally found someone who makes me happy and genuinely cares about me, I don't want to lose that.

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Jun 13

Yes, there’s no way I could’ve gotten it from someone else

andine's picture
Jun 13

Sorry if this is repeat info but you may want to consider local al anon or codependency type groups. We date abusers until we learn how to break the cycle of abuse. Glad you have this site but local support is important for your recovery from codependency. Very sorry for your suffering. If you to have to have sex with a man to keep him interested, he is taking advantage of you. Low self esteem generally is learned behavior when we are quite young. You are worth so much more. Learn about healthy boundaries so you are not taken advantage of by users/abusers. Best wishes for your health and well being. xx

5 hours ago

Dear CrystalCat:
I was married for 4 years and had a very active and exclusive love and sexual relationship with my wife.
Suddenly she was diagnosed with herpes 1& 2. I was also diagnosed. Don't really know where it came from.
It hit the relationship hard. She immediately withdrew sexually AND emotionally. We have never really recovered from that. It's been almost 7 years with no sex, few hugs, and little intimacy.
I have no symptoms whatever. She has extremely severe blistering outbreaks and the Valtrex she takes to help gives her awful side effects.
SO 1. no sex for me, 2. no affection or cuddling, 3. extreme guilt over probably having given it to her somehow. 4. inability to fix the problem. 5. She hates hugs when she is in physical strife and that's all I have to offer her.
So it's the end of the world, right? Well, yes and no. I have no connection with the one I love so much, BUT there ARE other things in the world of importance and interest -- creativity, music, religion, travel, productivity, living a purpose driven life.
SO please stay close to those who love you and work together to have a fruitful and happy life despite the specter of HPV.
Love and peace to you!!

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