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I am at a crossroads and do not know what to do. I've been m

I am at a crossroads and do not know what to do. I've been married for two years but together for five. I knew my husband had a drinking issue when we got together but I looked past it. We've had our ups and downs but recently I've not been able to pull myself back in to our relationship. He's not physically abusive, or even emotionally abusive. He's rather happy when he drinks but it's the fact he drinks as much as he does. At least 2 vodkas and 5 beers minimum every night, goes up from there. The smell of the alcohol, the way it changes his voice and movements just makes me anxious and not wanting to be close to him. I grew up with an alcoholic father which contributes to this issue. We've talked about it and he does well for a day or two but goes back to his regular routine. We're not close anymore, I feel alone all the time and like I have no emotional support. Am I over thinking this? I don't know what to do! I've shut down and can't seem to figure it out this time. He helps around the house, he struggles with fixing this around the house because he wasn't taught handy thing's by his father. Its all come to a head and I feel like I'm drowning but keep smiling and trying to seem like it's all ok. Anyone else been in this situation?

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Jan 11

Thank you all. It's so confusing. Because tonight it isn't as bad but I still can't bring myself to be close as much as I have the need to be close. My heart just seems to be elsewhere. I've started working on myself over the past few months and have finally confided in friends and a close coworker. I feel like I deserve better but not. My heart hurts so much.

Jan 14

@Diane86 It is also sooo hard because the normal/non drinking/non drunk person is the one we know and love. The other person...sad, excess drinking, drunk and disorderly... We have Shane, anger, fear, disgust, repulsion and yet we love/feel sorry for them [this was my experience].... Sooo it's rough cause our feelings are so opposite and conflicted and we need to go forward somehow someway...
We can't change people
They are the only ones who can change themselves and they have to want it
Rock bottom is diff for everyone. U don't have to be homeless etc to reach rock bottom sorry to write back and so long. I'm sorry your heart hurts. The best u can do is what u are doing--work on yourself... Prayers for both of u

Jan 15

We talked, again, but this time Im hoping it made a little more impact. I gave back my wedding rings. I told him not gone yet but I can't keep doing this back and forth. I'm here to support but I have to take care of my well being. I'm taking it a day at a time. He only had two drinks last night and went to bed sober with me. It was the first time in many months I slept without waking up several times throughout the night. I felt guilty and sad initially but after getting it all off my mind, it was like a weight was lifted.


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