This week's Topic: Giving yourself permission to be imperfect!!!

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Hi guys, about 10 years ago I split with my ex and found out

Hi guys, about 10 years ago I split with my ex and found out my 2 children of 4 and 2 were not mine. This broke me mentally. I have since met someone and got married 4 years ago. My trust is a major issue and we have recently took time apart and I’m going to loose her if I don’t get help! Any advice?? I’ve tried counselling a while back but it didn’t help at all. How do you guys deal with it or do to help the situation?!

Feb 13

Msybe try a new counselor or a life coach.

Rdan's picture
Feb 13

One of the most life changing events of my marriage with my wife was when we sitting outside on the front porch. During the course of conversation she quietly said"I couldn't leave you if you cheated on me" It was said very quietly and later she denied saying that. But even so it put nails in the coffin that if it ever crossed my mind - I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I could never hurt someone who loves me that deeply. When I was with her very early in our relationship. I was almost asleep on tthe sofa at her sisters house and I heard them talking - my wife was saying she thought she was pregnant by a previous boyfriend. I didn't talk with her about it - but I decided the baby was part of her - so it would be loved by me too. My point is there are things you need to decide - ahead of time. Since you have been putting strain on this relationship, and if she cheated on you - would you still work through it and love her unconditionally. Why did you take time apart" What is her side to the story? What do you see yourself doing to change? As you write things down it will get it out of your head. It helps to think out loud. It also helps to journal - this can be a tool so you can explain it to someone counseling you. Post as you need to. You may get some help from folk who have been through. Are you with her now?

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